


Favorite Company

by Ryu_Gabriev



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender, Mamono Hunter Youko | Devil Hunter Yohko, Real Person Fiction, Star Trek: Deep Space Nine
Genre: F/M, POV First Person, Self-Insert
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-06
Updated: 2017-08-06
Packaged: 2018-12-11 19:28:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 33,166
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11720967
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ryu_Gabriev/pseuds/Ryu_Gabriev
Summary: Dear Mortal, What do you get when you mix Yohko Mano, Iroh of the Fire Nation, Jadzia Dax and two hopeless anime fans with far too much time on their hands? I'm going to find out... Signed, Q.





	1. Always Look Both Ways Before Picking Up Guests

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters, ideas, or concepts borrowed for the purposes of this story. I just wish to create stories to tell to all who would listen.

* * *

 

It was cold that night as I was taking the freeway home from my friend’s apartment, leaving me alone with my inner voice and the music from my car’s speakers. Honestly though, I wish I had someone else in the car with me. Cause if someone _was_ it would’ve been simple to keep all the thoughts I didn’t want to think about out of sight.

 

My Dad has cancer. The irony of that statement being the fact we’d have never known until it killed him since it hadn’t caused him any pain at all the entire time. Two months ago, it looked like he could actually beat this thing, despite all the naysaying the doctors had said up to that point. Then it hit his lungs. As it is now, they say he’s got six months. Six months… of him hooked up to that damn, stupid respirator instead of actually going out of the house and _living_ and… _and!_

 

The gravel of the highway shoulder suddenly pulled me out of my growing frustrations as I quickly maneuvered my car back into the left-hand lane. Thankfully, that sleet-storm we’d had a few days ago had already melted from the streets and bridges, which meant I only got a wakeup call instead of a slip-and-slide down the highway strip. Man, I wish someone was here with me in the car. Might keep me from crashing, at least.

 

Of course, I couldn’t think about my situation with my father and not consider the other half of my born family. Mom had been run ragged over the last few days, barely getting any sleep with Dad’s up and down behavior in the house. Today had been the worst thus far, she had gotten the bill from the hospital for a month’s stay there and done a quick tally of things… they weren’t promising. She just broke down during the late afternoon, as did I. We actually considered-

 

I felt the rough gravel of the left shoulder again, making me quickly angle myself to the middle-lane while my frustrations quickly boiled over. “GAH! Fuckitall anyway! I wish I had someone to talk to right now! At least _then_ , I might be able to have some _peace of mind_!!”

 

_Well, if you insist._

 

I was suddenly blinded by this amazing flash from the other three seats inside the cabin, an instant before three people appeared in the car with me. But I was rather occupied by trying to get the vehicle to a complete and intact stop after the girl now in the front passenger seat looked forward and screamed. I turned and realized why - _I’m a few moments from hitting the off-ramp guardrail!!_

 

I pressed the brakes for a bit of lead time before jerking the wheel to the right, just missing the polished aluminum of the barrier. I let the weight of the car and the uphill slope of the off-ramp decelerate us further before finding the nearest entrance into a nearby parking lot, turning inside, and finding a space to come to a sudden and complete stop. I shifted into park before letting my head slump onto the steering wheel. My breathing was hard as I waited for the adrenaline to wear off, and it sounded like everyone else was in a similar state. After a moment to calm down, I switched on the overhead lights, and looked in the direction of my new ‘passengers’ to see who had been dropped in my lap.

 

Even if I could find the right words to describe the awe that came next, I still don’t think you’d believe me.

 

In the front passenger seat was the girl who saved my fender earlier. She was Japanese, as far as I could tell, with chocolate brown eyes and long, dark brown hair split off into a set of looped braids that ended in a pair of tails. She looked to be dressed for an academy, with a teal blue jacket and skirt combo over a white blouse with a red bow at the collar. But the real clincher was what was on the middle finger of her left hand. A gold ring with a horned demon’s face and two hook clasps that fit around the back of the hand, securing its place there on her finger.

 

“Devil Hunter… Yohko Mano…” I said softly, though it was still apparently loud enough for the young lady to notice as her eyes widened in surprise.

 

“Th-that’s my name! Wh-where- how- _what’s_ going on here?!” I waved my hands in her direction to get her to calm down, though honestly I wouldn’t mind having a few of those questions answered myself.

 

“Good questions. Maybe if we put our heads together, we can find some answers?” I turned in the new voice’s direction and took in the appearance of my second passenger. Long dark brown hair held in a low ponytail, bright blue eyes, and two rows of dark spots on her pale skin that wound their way down her head and neck till they disappeared behind a light blue blouse collar. Over that was a black jumpsuit that was dark grey at the neck and shoulders, and a small pin shaped like an upturned silver arrow over two gold horizontal bars on the left side of her heart.

 

Oh Lord, I’ve crashed my car haven’t I? ...Makes sense, two hot babes from both anime and sci-fi showing up in my car outta the blue like this, I must be dead and heaven threw me this nice surprise for dying a virgin.

 

Yea, you heard right, I’ve never known a woman in the biblical sense. Mostly because of said Biblical. Jesus for the Win, man!

 

I shook myself out of the 4th wall cracking recriminations and smiled at my second passenger. “Once my head stops spinning, Dax, I’ll explain what I can. But I’m afraid that without any Federation tech hoodoo to help me, any explanations I have won’t be that revealing. I guess to start with, you’re on Earth and-.”

 

Jadzia’s eyes filled with shock as well before she began speaking again, cutting me off. “Earth?! Where am I? What year is this?”  

 

“Where you are is Dallas, Texas, when is December 9th, 2013.”  

 

The Trill relaxed somewhat after that news. “Thank goodness, that should mean anything I do won’t really have an effect on the timeline. Now I just have to figure out how I got here, that might help me figure out a way back t-” She suddenly became white as a ghost as something came to her. “The temple!! Dukat’s still there, and Benjamin doesn’t know!”

 

I raised an eyebrow in confusion. “Temple? Wha- _ohhhh_ _scrap_.”

 

The lieutenant commander looked at me with a rather worried gaze before gesturing me to continue speaking. “Commander, if you just came from the Temple - as in the Bajoran Temple on DS9 - and Dukat’s there also, who or whatever brought you here just saved your life. He'd've killed you with the energy of that pah-wraith inside him, then done something to the Orb that would force the wormhole shut for a time.” As I spoke, a part of me felt it best to help lessen the blow I was giving her. “But there is good news. Dax does get successfully passed to another host, and Sisko _does_ manage to re-open the wormhole soon after. Not the best solution, but at least there is one.”

 

A tear ran down her cheek before she met my eyes again with her own. “Given the options, I suppose that’s all I can hope for, really. Was Worf able to live with… without me?”

 

I crossed my arms in front of me and thought back along my memories of watching Deep Space Nine. After another moment I spoke up again. “He managed to, eventually. ‘Course he had to make sure you got into Stovokor first by blowing up a Dominion orbital shipyard with a single Klingon cruiser.” I started chuckling. “His ship forced the nearby sun to eject a coronal mass emission right at the yard, vaporizing it instantly. Awesome fireworks, really.”

 

As the Starfleet officer started to smile at the thought of her husband doing something that crazy just for her, Yohko just glanced back and forth between the two of us, utterly perplexed. “Ok, what in the hell are you two talking about? Temples? _Dukat?_ _Woof?!_ ”

 

I couldn’t stop myself. Within seconds my head was thumping the steering wheel as I howled in laughter over the teenager’s misinterpretation over the prior discussion. Dax was giggling herself over the whole thing, probably because she would _know_ just how much that would’ve irritated the gruff, sober Klingon. “It… hehe… It’s _Worf_ , Miss Mano, not Woof. And this is Lieutenant Commander Jadzia Dax, Science Officer for the Federation-run space station Deep Space Nine. The station itself is located at the mouth of a kind of tunnel in space called a wormhole, which allows anyone from this part of our galaxy to another part that’s several thousand light-years away. There’s more to it than that, but suffice it to say that she comes from a possible future of ours. I’ll save the whole explanation for later.”

 

Dax nodded before looking to her left, which of course made me look where she was looking. Once I had managed to angle my vision that way, I took in the look of the last new arrival to my world. It was a man this time, an elderly one from the color of his gray hair and goatee as well as the lack of hair atop his head. He had thick, gray sideburns and a section of his remaining hair was locked into a simple topknot. A set of brown shoulder pads and matching breastplate covered his upper torso, while a simple gray robe took care of the rest. He had a gentle smile on his face, making me feel more at ease over the whole thing. Real Adventure is almost as good as Sexy Adventure, after all.

 

Off hand, I couldn’t really place him, but he _was_ familiar to me. “So how come you haven’t introduced yourself, sir? As it stands, the girls and I are doing all the talking.”

 

It was at that point that the elderly man’s expression turned neutral and he **_looked_ ** at me. I emphasize it like that since he did much more than just point his eyes in my direction as I did earlier, it honestly felt like he was peering deeper in a way that’s hard to describe. But soon enough, a smile came back to his face, and he finally started speaking. “I am Iroh, retired General of the Fire Nation. I apologize for my cautious actions, but I have found that it is best to stay quiet when you are in unfamiliar surroundings. Often it will help you avoid attracting the wrong sort of attention.”

 

I thought about it for a moment before shrugging. “Makes sense. Anyway, I’m Jonathan Vehan, and either I’m dead and about to enjoy the everafter alongside some of my favorite characters of all time, or the three of you have been transported into my car from across time and space.”

 

The Science Officer smiled at my intro. “Then Jonathan, I hope you wouldn’t mind telling us how you know who we are, especially if we’re simply dreams to you.” Her expression suddenly turned serious. “Not that I’m upset, but frankly you shouldn’t be capable of knowing about what’s to come in your future.“

 

Both Iroh and Yohko nodded their agreement to that idea, and I sighed in resignation. “I… could show you, if you like, but I think I’ll show Miss Mano’s proof with her alone. She hates how she transforms enough as it is.”  

 

The Japanese girl squeaked as her face suddenly turned crimson. “... _nooooo_ … Please don’t tell me you know about _that?!_ ”  

 

I shrugged my shoulders and nodded once, which was all the cue she needed to bury her face in her hands and start cursing her ancient ancestors who apparently were exhibitionists. While she kept wishing to disappear through the floor, I shifted in my seat till I faced forwards again and buckled my seat belt. “I suggest you kids buckle up, I’d rather not have an accident after doing so much to avoid one earlier.”

All of them managed to do so, though the aged firebender had trouble figuring out the mechanism of the seat belt at first. Thankfully though, there were no more surprises the rest of the way home.

I pulled into the available space in front of the house that my folks owned and shifted into park before turning in the direction of my guests. “Ok guys, just give me a few seconds to dash inside the house and I’ll be back here with the proof you all wanted to see. I know it’s bad manners not to invite you in, but honestly, there’s no room. My folks are minor packrats, and the behavior’s been passed on to me as well. Besides, if my ‘roommates’ see you guys I’ll never be able to explain things to everyone’s satisfaction.”

 

The retired General nodded. “Very well. Please be swift in your retrieval, my young friend.”

 

I gave a quick nod and cut the engine. Problem was, with all that had gone on before now, it had slipped my mind that it was 34F° outside the car at the moment. Which meant that the moment I opened the car door, a blast of frigid air filled the cabin, making the young devil hunter jump in her seat in surprise. “EEEE! It’s cold!”

 

I quickly shut the door again, with a panicked expression. “Sorry! I’m sorry about that, I should’ve remembered why I’m wearing three layers of shirts today.”

 

“Then if you can’t remember, could you share some of those layers _instead?!_ ” Her brown eyes flashed angrily as she spoke, making me feel worse for forcing a Texas chill on her. Not really thinking about it, I quickly unbuttoned my outermost shirt, forest green with a plaid pattern and long sleeves with this great quilting on the inside. Warmest thing I own, really. Within a few seconds I’d pulled it off of me and quickly tossed it into the young woman’s lap, leaving me in a black sweater and blue jeans.

 

“That should keep the worst of the cold away from you. I’ll ,uh, try to slip out so as to not let as much of the outside air in.” Before anyone could say anything else I did just as I said and opened the car door just enough for me to slip through quickly before quickly shutting it behind me and dashing into the house.

 

A few moments later, I returned with my ‘proof’, a laptop along with a set of anime DVDs for Yohko, and some video files for Iroh and Jadzia already loaded in the internal hard drive. Like before, I opened the door quickly and slipped inside the car, only to find all three of them looking at me with odd smiles on their faces. “What?”

 

“We were just talking about what we all think of you so far.” Dax eyed my little tech toy with curiosity. “Is that a datapad?”    

 

I chuckled. “Not quite. This is my portable computer, or laptop. With this you guys can see the proof with your own eyes. I’ve set up one episode each for you and the General to see, I hope you like them. As for Miss Mano… “

 

I passed the DVD case to the young devil hunter, thinking to myself that she looked rather cute with my shirt around her slender frame. She took the offered holder, looking at it with first confusion, then shock as the drawings on the front and back were recognized. While that was going on, I unfolded the device and started it up, passing it to Jadzia once the video player was ready.

 

During the next hour, the science officer and aged firebender both saw events that were unforgettable to them, from a third person perspective: For Iroh, the events that led up to his nephew’s banishment as told by himself during a powerful storm. For Jadzia, the time her symbiote was stolen by the disgruntled Verad while DS9 was in the middle of an ion storm.  

 

“To see your own past, from another’s viewpoint. I must confess, seeing such a thing is somewhat… disturbing.” The retired General closed the lid of the computer as Jadzia looked out the side window of the car, remembering things thousands of lightyears away with an absent look to her eyes.  

 

“Sorry about that, General. But frankly, you asked for proof, not comforts.” I replied while facing forward in my seat.

 

The aged firebender couldn’t help but smirk at that one. “Indeed we did. Thank you for showing us these things. And please, call me Iroh.”

 

“And I’m Jadzia.” The Trill turned back my way as she spoke. “With all you no doubt know about me, I think a first name basis is only fair.”

 

“Well I don’t think any of this is _fair!_ ” The Japanese girl huffed in her seat with her arms crossed under her breasts. “I never asked to be a Devil Hunter, I never asked to be sent to some freezing cold foreign country, and I _most certainly_ didn’t ask to have the first day of my tenth year as a Devil Hunter start in the worst possible way!”

 

It took me a second to process that. “Wait, you’re _26_?”

 

“Of course I am, I’m only wearing my old high school uniform ‘cause I was feeling a little nostalgic today.” The young woman shifted in her seat away from me facing the door. “Things used to be simple. I was in love with a handsome boy, going through my classes, planning for college… so much for _that_.”

 

I could relate to that feeling, knowing how everything you know and take for granted can suddenly be upheaved without warning. “Well, Miss Mano, if it’s any consolation for you; right now my father isn’t doing so well. In fact, some are saying he’s not got much time left. I agree completely, things _did_ used to be simple.”

 

I noticed Yohko was starting to turn back my way, so I kept going. “But as I’m starting to find out, just because something’s hard doesn’t mean you up and quit. Instead, you have to simply make the best of things and keep going.”

 

She had locked eyes with me now, probably wondering where I was going with this. “I’m _supposed_ to outlive my dad, but that won’t make the event any easier to handle. Just as you are _supposed_ to be a Devil Hunter, despite it making your life more complicated. This is what our lives now endure, and wailing about how bad it is… is just wasted effort.”

 

I suddenly felt a large hand clap my shoulder as Iroh spoke up. “An excellent way of seeing things, my young friend. Do not lament on what was, but focus on how to improve what _is_.”

 

I nodded. “Speaking about what is, we have to get you kids situated somewhere safe for the night.” I then started the car’s ignition and pulled out of it’s parking space. “Maybe I can find one of those all-night motels…”

 

A few moments later, a subdued voice came from the young Devil Hunter’s seat. “Thank you both… for helping me through that.”

 

I glanced her way with a big smile. “Hey, what are friends for?”

* * *

 

I woke up with a start that morning, groggy for a few seconds as my mind woke up alongside me. I looked myself over, noting that I was still in my white pajamas with blue stripes over a solid white shirt. I ran a hand lightly through my long hair, which I kept in a fishtail style at night so that it wouldn’t twist and tangle while I slept. I know what you’re thinking: ‘ _Why the hell did he grow his hair? Isn’t that dumb?’_ The frank and honest answer was so that I could prove that I could decide a course of action for myself and deal with the outcome. It wasn’t anything big, true, but it was _something_ that I knew I had decided for myself, so it was a start in showing that I could be independent if I so chose.

 

But it looks like the fun was over, dreams _do_ have to end after all.

 

I looked around the cluttered mess of my room for anything that might give credence to what I thought I remembered last night, but could find nothing. My green quilted shirt was hanging in it’s usual spot on my computer chair, instead of being last seen on the attractive form of the Japanese demon hunter. As my thoughts drifted to the young Mano woman, my head shook in disapproval over what I had actually considered trying to do over the course of the night. Yes, Yohko was beautiful. Stunning, even. But facts are facts, and the fact is women only lead to pain where I’m concerned. Thus, even if it was a dream, odds are she’d reject me like every other girl had in my life.

 

Still though, the idea of actually meeting those people sounds rather interesting. Perhaps I should turn this remnant dream into a plot bunny and toss it at Spacebattles after I get off of work today. However, just as I untangled myself from the bedsheets to start my day, the familiar opening sounds of _Yuusha Ou Tanjou_ rang out from my cellphone. Grimacing at the thought of starting my day cussing out a telemarketer, I answered the phone in a huff. “If this is that damn US Pharmacy group I’m gonna look into mailing a bomb your way… “

 

A feminine giggle responded through the mouthpiece. “Please tell me you don’t tell everyone that phrase when you answer the telephone.”

 

I blinked twice, slightly confused. “Sorry, it’s just only oddballs and telemarketers that call me this early in the morning.”

 

“Well, I’m no telemarketer, whatever that is. And while Benjamin would tell you otherwise I doubt I’m an ‘oddball’.”  

  

My left eyebrow rose in time with my bewilderment as I continued speaking. ”Oookay… and I would know Benjamin from where, exactly?”

 

“From the station! Jonathan, it’s _me_ , Jadzia!” My eyes grew wide as my arm holding the phone went slack. The natural ligament tension in my hand was enough to keep the phone in my grip even after my arm dropped limp at my side. I could vaguely hear Jadzia, if it really was her, trying to get my attention over the phone, calling my name repeatedly.

 

But all I could hear and see at that point was last night, along with the growing shock that _I had_ interacted with _those amazing people_ for hours without ever connecting the dots that it was real. “I just hung out last night with an alien space babe that’s mentally three hundred twenty-seven years old, a mystical devil hunter that can kick my butt a hundred different ways, and man that can _bend fire_ to his **_will_**. My God, I _am_ that dense.”

 

_I completely agree. Not even Jean-Luc was this thick-headed about things._

 

There was another sudden flash of light and I suddenly found myself sitting in my computer chair fully dressed and ready for work in my Domino’s uniform, blue shirt with black trim and the logo and black pants secured to my waist with a belt, facing the bed. Laying on said bed with hands behind his head was a man with short dark hair and blue eyes, wearing a red Starfleet uniform with four pips on the collar. He spoke, glancing around the disheveled state of my living space as he did so. “You really should clean things up around here, what if guests suddenly dropped by?”

 

“Guests normally come through the door, not the subspace barrier.” My face fell into my hands as I tried getting a grip on my rising stress level. First Dad, now my sanity. If I lose much more I won’t have anything _left_.

 

“Now now now, cheer up! You humans die all the time, and quite frankly, your mental state is as stable as it’s always been.”

 

My eyes locked with a glare onto the omnipotent being as he lounged on top of my bed, my head rising slightly from where it was resting on my palms. “Q, I’m not having a good morning so far. So I hope you’ll forgive me when I promise to kick your almighty ass back to the Continuum if you _ever_ make light of my dad’s condition again.”

 

Q scoffed, turning his head to focus more on one of the wall scrolls I had hung right next to my bed. “Yes, yes. Vacant threats, and all that.” Just as quickly as he had dismissed my warning to him, he all but leapt off the bed to a standing position right in front of me, staring me straight in the eye. “Now to business. My fellow Q and I have grown interested in how far some of you are willing to go just to test your inner character, despite still being a savage child race. You Spacebattlers, in particular, have caused quite a stir back in the Q Continuum.”

 

He raised his hands in a dramatic gesture and spread them wide for emphasis, as if he was taking the whole of the universe into his hands. “Oh believe me, I _tried_ quite hard to keep this little nugget to myself, but I’m sadly not the only omnipotent being there. But once I sent dear Keiran on his merry way, the Continuum noticed what I was so interested in these last few millennia.”

 

The godling grimaced suddenly. “Now I’ve had to share all that I’ve worked on. All those interesting worlds your comrades, and recently you, have created. If it wasn’t beneath me, I’d feel like sulking for an eon or two.”

 

But just as fast as his expression soured, he seemed to perk right up again. Q clasped his hands behind his back and assumed a parade rest stance. “Thankfully, my friend Q and I found a way to _really_ amuse ourselves: a Bet.”

 

My brow raised in confusion at the godling’s words seconds before I sat up straight and leaned back in my chair to a more comfortable position. ”A bet? So what, you’re all gambling on the fate of worlds now? Is there a point spread or do you just count all the millions slaughtered outright by whatever you throw at them?”

 

Q’s head dropped till his eyes were facing the carpeted floor and shook it side to side in disappointment for a moment. Afterwards it rose back up til his eyes met mine as a smirk formed on his face. “Not a bet, a _Bet_ , in the vein of a certain series of fanfics you enjoyed reading years ago. Besides, if the Q were unable to know about _which_ mortals were killed _when_ we wouldn’t be omnipotent beings, would we? No, _this_ Bet is far more interesting.”  

 

My eyes widened at that news. The Bet series, a vast set of ‘What If’ stories involving bored gods and mortal circumstances, usually Ranma ½ and- _...ohh, scrap_. If the Q of all things were interested in enacting such a concept-

 

Q suddenly straightened up with a smile on his face again. “Quite so. I’ve already seen several Q make their entries, so I’d better hurry with mine before all the good ideas are scooped up.”

 

I felt a smirk crawl onto my face despite myself. “So I guess you’re leaving then? If you are, be a pal and take my new guests to their homes when you leave, would you?”

 

The omnipotent being returned my smirk with his own. “Not quite. _Your Mission_ , regardless of whether or not you accept it, is to ensure the Health and Safety of your three guests for the next seven days. Should you succeed and not die in the process, I’ll grant you… a wish.”

 

I shot up to a straight standing position as the last word hit my ears. A wish. A _wish_ backed by the power of Q. I could… _I could-!_

 

Q finished my thought aloud for me. “Yes yes, if you _really_ want to waste your reward on curing your father, you can do so.” He crossed his arms in front of his chest impatiently. “Now, do we have a deal?”

 

I moved the proposal around in my head, trying to see if there was any tricks in the wording, especially considering that this was Q I was dealing with. Then a half-second later I smacked myself in the forehead after realizing what I was trying to do. This is _Q_ . This guy’s been around longer than Earth has, and I’m trying to outthink _him?!_ While we’re at it, might as well call up God for a pizza.

 

Hearing the godling smother a chuckle brought me out of my self-deprecation and back to reality. While I’d like to say I had a choice now, if Star Trek was any judge, Q would go forward with whatever he was going to do regardless of whether or not I agreed. And if I did the sane thing and just ignored the problem _and_ left those three to their own devices, I couldn’t help but feel that I’d be doing something unforgivable. Which _means…_

 

I crossed my arms in front of me, matching Q’s gesture and staring him in the eye. “Fine, I’ll babysit three people for you for a week. How hard could that be?”

 

The omnipotent being answered me by suddenly causing a big flash of light, returning me back to my original standing position with my cellphone back in my hand, though I was still dressed and ready for work. As for Q, he was gone completely with no evidence left that he had even been there in my room.

 

_Famous Last Words, my friend._

 

I could hear Jadzia’s voice coming in over the cell once again, though it sounded a bit frustrated now, and put the device back next to my ear. “Yea, sorry about that Dax, someone was on the other line and I switched over without thinking.”  

 

“It’s alright, Jon. You didn’t really leave me hanging for more than a few seconds.”

 

Seconds? Thought for sure I spent at least a few minutes talking to Q. “On another note, how exactly are we talking like this? Don’t we need the UT for basic understanding?”

 

“Actually, I managed to patch my Com Badge into the phone system before I tried calling you to see if it worked. Though I might have a tough time reassembling the phone in time for checkout.”

 

I blanched at that. “Well, uh, we’ll cross that bridge when we come to it. Anyway, I’ll meet up with you guys after I get off of my shift at work today, and we can take stock of what we all know so far. Sound good?”

 

There was a short pause on the other end of the line before the Trill spoke up again. “Do you think you might have an idea as to what happened?”

 

My eyes turned skyward with a sigh before I shook my head in resignation. “Lemme put it this way: I just got through talking with Q.”

* * *

 

My guests called me again near the end of my shift that night with a request to bring something to eat when I arrived. Thankfully, feeding three people for seven days shouldn’t be _too great_ a burden on my bank account, given that Q’ll help me pull off a ‘miracle remission’ of my dad’s cancer after this. I just have to think of it as… _paying it forward_.

 

I showed up at the motel a little bit after nine, still in my uniform from Domino’s, with a pair of pizza sitting on my right hand and a few drinks to help wash them down. As I walked up the stairs to the gang’s room, I thought to just knock on their door and say hello, but my sense of humor suggested an opportunity to snag some laughs.

 

Which is why the moment Jadzia opened the door I said, “Not even interdimensional house guests can stop _Domino’s_!!”

 

I had thought the effect would be like all the times I pulled that bit for the people I had delivered pizza to in the past 3 years I had been with Domino’s: big laughs from my target audience. Instead however I get one puzzled firebender, one devil hunter shaking like a leaf from smothering her giggles, and one Trill Starfleet officer asking me to get a life. Ah well, one out of three. The room itself was a simple twin bed option, with light wallpaper on the walls and a painted blue wood overlay at the bottom that linked up with the blue carpet upon the floor.

 

Iroh was sitting crosslegged style on the bed farthest from the door facing the TV, discovering the wonders of technology. Yohko sat on the opposing bed watching the Tube as well with her legs tucked up close to her chest and her head resting on her knees. Finally, the desk and chair on the far wall seemed to be where Jadzia had set up shop, as her Com Badge was sitting there opened up alongside various other bits of circuit boards and electronics tools.

 

“Sorry about that guys, but I just couldn’t help myself.” I apologized, cracking open one of the Arizona Green Teas I had brought with me before sitting down on the side of the bed that Iroh had commandeered. I focused on all the tech materials with a curious expression. Did I give Dax the money for this stuff? “Hey Dax, how’d you get the parts for this little operation of yours here?”

 

The Trill calmly walked back to her seat with something of an embarrassed grin on her face. “Well, suffice it to say I didn’t pay for the parts. They were… _gifts_ , from a fan of my work you might say.”

 

I could feel a tick in my eye starting to develop. “So you ventured out into the world today, Jadzia?”

 

The grin faded from her lips before she stared at me with a slightly hardening expression. “Is something wrong with that?”

 

I met her glare with my own. “Besides the fact the only clothing you have is a two-day old Starfleet uniform that _somebody_ is bound to recognize and a three hundred plus year old slug inside your belly? Not much.”

 

Her glare morphed into a smirk as she turned her attention back to her current project. “Well, unless someone can scan me without my knowledge, my symbiote is easy enough to hide. As for the uniform, I guess I’m _just that good_ a cosplayer.”

 

For some reason, that casual flippancy of her situation really pisses me off. But before I could tear into her for it, Iroh suddenly let out a strangled cry of disgust. My head whipped over his way and I found the aging firebender holding one of the cans of green tea as far away from his person as his arm would allow. “What in all the world is this supposed to be?! It tastes like chilled leaf juice!”

 

I smirked at that. “Yes, Iroh, it’s called _tea_. Interesting, isn’t it?”

 

Iroh gave me a half-lidded stare for an instant before sighing aloud and gently placing the can upon the nearby nightstand. “Jonathan, though your world is full of amazing technological marvels, it is quite clear your people know very little about the true wonder of tea. So tomorrow, as soon as we are able, I’ll would ask your assistance in journeying to the nearest marketplace for some ingredients.”

 

I felt faint as I heard that, doesn’t he know what’s riding on this?! “U-um, Iroh, I don’t think that’s a good idea really.”

 

The old General cocked his head in confusion. “And why is that? I would think it very wise that we begin to acquire the lay of the land so that we might better integrate into this world.”

 

I waved a hand in his direction to calm him, hoping he wouldn’t notice my rising tension. “Ahh, It’s not like you’ll be staying _that long_ , right?”

 

The aged firebender narrowed his eyes in my direction before allowing a smirk to grace his lips. “My friend, you wouldn’t have been planning to keep us within this chamber for the next week, _were you_?”

 

 _Busted_. I chuckled sheepishly at the spot-on accusation. “Um… no?”

 

Iroh just shook his head lightly while Jadzia and Yohko took their turns staring me down. I wilted slightly, but only a little. “Ok fine, bad Idea. But still-”

 

“Chi would kill me if I let this chance to see America go to waste, so don’t even think of stopping me, Jon!” Yohko quipped, before she turned back to the TV. “Besides, I wanna see some American cowboys!”

 

“But…”

 

“It _would_ be nice to get some more components for these new Com Badges I’m working on…” Dax trailed off as she turned back to her work, hovering over her tricorder and new electronics tools.

 

“But…!”

 

I was cut off again as Iroh placed a hand on my shoulder. “I’m afraid you’ve been overruled, Jonathan. Come, let us sit and plan our outing tomorrow, and perhaps you can help me learn how Miss Yohko is altering the images on this Tea-Fee so expertly.”

 

My shoulders hitched, then slumped in surrender while a small smile grew on my face. If you can’t beat ‘em… “Ancient Wisdom: ‘ _Never surrender the remote without a fight.’_ ”

 

I just hope work can deal without me there for the next few days.

* * *

 

 

As it turned out, my boss was actually rather understanding about the whole ‘sudden family visit’ I had to deal with. Sadly, that was the only thing easy about this impromptu guided tour, since Iroh, Dax and Yohko were still in the clothes they all showed up in a couple of nights ago. Which first meant one thing: New clothes for the lot of ‘em.

 

… oh, my aching wallet. Even so, a deal’s a deal, which was why I started the day by borrowing my mom’s tape measure from her old sewing kit before hightailing it out of the house in the direction of the hotel. If it hadn’t set in just yet, YES, I do still live with my parents, but these days it’s more of a in-family apartment setting instead of me living off of their dime.

 

In any case, along with the needed measuring device so that everyone’s size could be found and shopped for by my lonesome, was my laptop in it’s handy carrying case so that the gang could plan their day during the time I was away. With a speed borne of three years spent at my job, I hopped out of the car once I arrived and made my way up the stairs to their room. Once at the right door, I used the keycard they had provided me so I could enter and leave at leisure.

 

As I walked in I noticed Iroh fiddling with the complimentary coffee maker and the sound of running water coming from the bathroom, so I made myself known to whomever was in there. “Heyo! It’s Jonathan, ready to receive clothing requests and dropping off fancy technical gadgets!”

 

The voice of my favorite Devil Hunter rang out from the bathroom door. “Just a sec, Jon! Jadzia and I are still freshening up in here! Go play with Iroh or something till we come out.”

 

I blinked in confusion. “What’s she expect me to do, play Pai Sho with you?”

 

The aged firebender sighed wistfully from his position over the beverage maker. “Ah, if only we could. You have the look of a crafty player, my young friend.”

 

A snort escaped my lips. “Shows what you know, man. I couldn’t win at strategy games even if my life depended on it. Besides, I didn’t think to bring anything to play with me when I drove over here.”

 

Iroh waved it off with little concern. “Nothing to be concerned about. Come, I would like you to try a little experiment of mine.” With that, the tea connoisseur pulled a full, steaming pot of coffee from the maker as well as two complementary mugs from the counter. He set the items on the table in the corner and motioned for me to sit down on the bed next to the table while he himself took the only chair. “I discovered this ‘caw-fee’ of yours this morning. A rather potent brew, very bitter and stimulating. It’s made from ground up seeds, yes?”

 

Wow… he _really is_ the master of tea. “Uh, beans actually. After they’re harvested the beans are dried and sometimes roasted to give the brew a particular flavor.” I gave my horsetail a tug before continuing. “It’s too bitter for my taste though, I’m more of a soda/energy drink guy in the mornings, myself.”

 

The retired general set both mugs on the table and began pouring a cup for himself and I. “So tell me, do you have any suspicions as to the why this ‘Q’ spirit has targeted you, and us, in this manner?”

 

I shrugged. “Trying to figure out Q is like trying to hit warp speed by running laps, ultimately useless and you exhaust yourself in the process.”

 

Iroh nodded, accepting my point and took swig from his mug, which prompted me to do the same. Honestly, I expected it to taste like coffee I’d had before at the prompting of one of my friends, creamed and sweetened but still having a detectable bitterness to it.

 

Almost the very instant the brew passed by my lips, I jerked my head back from my mug. “Wha-? Dude, no way is this coffee. This is like… like! Like _Not_ -Coffee!!”  

 

The aged firebender gave off a roar of laughter just as the bathroom door opened and the two visions of loveliness padded in with towels around their torsos and, in Yohko’s case, one also wrapped around her head. “Sorry we’re running so late, boys. It’s been an interesting experience having a shower using water instead of sonic waves, so I lost track of time.”

 

I smirked while discreetly adding the sight of the two girls to my long-term memory. “No Sweat, Dax. The God of Brewing over here was just showing off his method for putting Folgers out of business.”

 

That earned me a raised eyebrow from the Trill scientist. “Oh? It’s that good, is it?”

 

I nodded and passed my mug over to Dax, smirking as she took a hit from it, before her face lit up in a smile. “No way a replicator could make something like this.”

 

The retired general gave a satisfied grin while I turned away just long enough to put aside my computer bag. When I turned my attention back in the girls’ direction Yohko had just taken my mug from Dax and had a sip of it herself, before giving off a deep shiver in delight. “This is amazing! How’d you do it, Iroh?”

 

Iroh shrugged nonchalantly. “As I’ve always said to those who have asked, ‘The secret ingredient is Love.’”

 

My eyes rolled around in my head before I continued speaking. “By the way, Ladies, at which point are the both of you gonna cover up those legs of yours better? Not that I’m not enjoying the view…”

 

Dax smirked and gave a wink before she turned back towards the bathroom as Yohko tried readjusting her own towel for better coverage. Which in hindsight proved to be a bad idea as the towel suddenly loosened and dropped away from her torso, revealing her feminine curves to all who might look her way at that particular moment. Which I was kinda already doing at the time of the surprise unveiling. Honestly though, it wasn’t my fault that my voice could still work without input from my brain! “Whoa… Some things really _do_ get better with age.”

 

That was the last thing I knew for a while once Yohko’s mind reset and she decked me into a sudden nap.

* * *

 

 

When I came to sometime later, the first things I noticed were the concerned brown eyes of my favorite devil hunter looking me over for any other damage she might’ve dealt me by accident. Maybe that was where we first started to see each other in a very different light…

 

Yea. Right. What d’you think this is, a _fanfic_? The first thing I saw when I finally came to was the ugly white speckled ceiling of the hotel room. As I slowly moved into a sitting position, I glanced around the rented room finding Iroh watching what looked like the History Channel with a now familiar steaming teacup in his hands. “Welcome back, Jonathan. For a time, I was concerned you might be sleeping the rest of the day. Care for some tea?”

 

“If it can cure a headache, sure…” I gave my head a shake before looking about the room, noticing that I was shy two of my three visitors. “Iroh, please tell me that the girls are in the bathroom or something.”

 

“Actually, from what I understand of it, Miss Jadzia discovered how your funds were stored upon the...credit card, as well as how to release them from their confines.”

 

My eyes widened to their utmost as my brain flatlined at that little gem of information. “She. Did. **_WHAT?!_ ** ” My hands quickly flew to the back pocket of my jeans, only to immediately notice the familiar bulge of my wallet no longer there. “Dax and I need to have a talk about personal boundaries when she gets back. Not to mention _compensation_.”

 

The retired general’s cup had bounced into the air briefly before landing back where it started, but otherwise Iroh seemed otherwise unruffled by my sudden outburst. “My friend, I’m certain Dax will not overtax your funds given your eventual need of them once we depart. You must have faith.”

 

Part of me felt like exploding simply on principle, but the calming presence of the firebender helped me keep my head. “Iroh, I know I should, but you have to understand something. If practically anyone from my own world found out how to access my bank account, they’d take everything they could without a second thought and many who learned of it would see _me_ as in the wrong for not being careful enough. They’d be right, of course, but…”

 

The Dragon of the West nodded in understanding as he finished my sentence. “But still, such a loss would be devastating to you, especially as a reward for your kindness so far.”

 

“Don’t get me wrong, I know Dax wouldn’t do anything on purpose, it’s just the economy where she’s from has been on easy mode for a rather long time.” By this point, I’d noticed that I had risen to a standing position during this exchange and allowed myself to flop back down onto the bed with my legs crossed lotus style and my head lowered, thinking more about DS9 and Dax’s universe in general. “It’s kinda cool really, being able to travel to other planets like that. Used to be a dream of mine as a kid.”

 

My eyes rose back up to see the retired general holding another cup of steaming liquid towards me with a smile. “Perhaps you could tell me some of Jadzia’s world to pass the time until our lady friends return. From the sound of it, you admire her and her life quite a bit.”

 

I grinned before taking a sip of the tea to wet my whistle. “You could say that. Well if you wanna know, Iroh, first you need to understand the scale of things Dax’s used to. Guys, like you and me, we’re used to travel between continents across the ocean. Folks like Dax are used to travel between _planets_ across outer space.”

 

The aged firebender’s eyes widened slightly before turning his gaze skyward. “Traveling the heavens… it sounds quite romantic, indeed.” 

 

I nodded with a wistful sigh. “Honestly though the Star Wars universe, especially the Expanded Verse set during the Old Republic, is far more romantic in my opinion. Star Trek is more about the hard pseudo-science and the episode’s mechanical surprise of the day.” I gave a pause before continuing. “DS9, thankfully, was something of an exception to that given the whole Dominion War that started up in Season 3, which was where Sisko really started to-”

 

I trailed off as my eyes focused on my audience, who looked like he was nodding off slightly. “-er, sorry Iroh. I forget that not everyone is on the same page as me during one of my geekout attacks. Mind if I start again?”

 

Iroh suddenly snapped back to attention before nodding his consent. And for the next few hours, I helped someone from another world understand a space station I had never visited, but knew quite well.

 

The sun had long set by the time I heard someone knock on the door to the hotel room, seconds before it swung open. I turned that way expecting mountains of clothes, more shoes than what a centipede would have use for, and a dozen other scenarios…

 

…only to see the girls walk in with only a few bags between them, though Yohko’s seemed a bit more varied in the store logos shown than Jadzia. Dax’s uniform had been changed for a light green button-down blouse with long sleeves and a simple pair of hip-hugging blue jeans. As for the young Devil Hunter, she was now sporting a short white skirt and a silver-grey T-shirt that actually had the yin-yang symbol emblazoned on the front. The breath I didn’t know I was holding suddenly released with the realization that I probably _wasn’t_ destitute as was previously feared. Even so…

 

“Dax, mind telling me what the _hell_ compelled you to yank my life savings and _go on a_ **_shopping spree?!_ ** ” I’d quickly stood up from my position on the bed after I had started speaking, and had quickly closed the distance between the two of us until my eyes were scant inches from her own. “I dunno about the Ferengi, but here on Earth, in _this_ timezone we have an old saying for three things you _never_ do.”

 

I started ticking off my fingers as I began to recite. “ _Never mess with another man’s Woman. Never mess with another man’s Car_ _._ and _Never mess with another man’s Wallet._ ”  

 

Part of me was unsure how I could actually _shame_ Dax of all people, but somehow some of what I was saying seemed to make it through as the Trill scientist let her head dip with a somewhat mollified expression. “I’m… sorry, Jon. I wanted to wait till you woke up, but at the same time I wanted to show you that Yohko and I can handle ourselves in this big, nasty city of yours.”

 

...ok, _maaaybe_ the whole ‘Keep them in a small room for 7 days’ plan was a bit stupid…

 

But before I could speak up to defend myself, Yohko tossed her bags onto the nearby bed before sitting down herself. “Besides, it’s not like you weren’t going to pay for these things anyway. What’s it matter if you weren’t there to watch us get what we wanted?”

 

I frowned, turning to the Devil Hunter as she began rifling through one of her bags looking for something. “Do you have an innate idea of how much money I have to spare? Or what bills I have to look forward to after you three are back where you belong? That’d be a start. Not to mention _it’s still rude_ to do to someone _._ ”  

 

Her gaze suddenly shot up from her bag before locking onto my own, her eyes narrowing. “ _I’m_ being rude?! I’m not the one who stared at someone like they were a piece of meat!”

 

My mind ground to a sudden halt before my eyes mirrored Yohko’s at the accusation. “If I honestly were staring like you were a buffet, I’d have to say it was due to the feast _you_ laid out for me.”

 

“ ** _Me?!_ ** ” I flinched slightly at the shrill rebuttal from the young Japanese woman. “Are you saying I _wanted_ you to see me?! You’re a jerk _and_ a pervert, aren’t you?”

 

My teeth bared in a snarl before I moved forward till I was almost nose to nose with the Devil Hunter. “Oh yes! Blame me for bowing to the opportunity of seeing Yohko Mano in the hottest look she’ll ever wear!!”

 

As if someone flipped a switch within her mind, Yohko’s face suddenly lost all the anger it had been showing before her cheeks grew rather flushed. Anything else she might’ve said to me was lost as the brown-eyed woman turned her gaze from mine, mumbling slightly to herself, before resuming her search through the bags she had brought in with her.

 

Dax took that as her cue to interpose herself between us. “Well, now that you two have cleared the air about that little misunderstanding, Iroh’s almost ready. I was hoping we could see the inner metropolis first tonight, then some of the more interesting sights tomorrow. How’s that sound?“

 

The aged firebender’s voice rang out from the bathroom before Yohko or I could respond. “It sounds perfect to me, Jadzia.” Iroh stepped out of the lavatory wearing only a pair of khaki shorts and holding two collared shirts, a plain red one and a super loud Hawaiian styled one, floral print and all. “Tell me, which do you believe would look better: the red, or this stunning floral style?”

 

I took one look at the sizzling pink flowers over that eye-searing yellow cloth and _knew_ that Hell was coated in this color scheme. “Iroh, you wear that Hawaiian shirt outside and everyone in a 5-block radius is gonna go deaf.”

 

Iroh looked puzzled for a moment before holding the affront to my vision right next to his left ear. “I cannot hear anything...”

 

I palmed my face with my right hand as Dax started giggling slightly. “If you wanna wear that one, go for it. I’ll just avert my eyes when I’m speaking to you.”

 

“Here they are!” The Devil Hunter suddenly cried out with glee, causing all of us to turn back her way. I swear, my wallet seemed to cry out in pain just as Yohko pulled out one of the objects of her searching through the many parcels and bags: a matte-black stiletto-heeled shoe. “Chi’ll look so sexy wearing these!”

 

My hand clapped against my head again. “Yohko, it’s crap like _that_ that I should’ve been around for to approve of or deny! I’m up for giving you kids the essentials so you can look around my world without being noticed or getting into trouble, but I’m _not_ a no-risk charge card for you to go on a bloody shopping spree with!!”

 

The japanese woman gave a slight pout. “But _Jo~~on!_ Chi _does_ need these! How else could she find a boyfriend if she can’t make herself feel attractive!”

 

Before I could say anything else in reply, Yohko quickly moved right next to me and gave me one of the most heart-rending gazes she could in my direction. “ _Pleease_ Jon? You don’t mind helping me make my best friend feel like a new woman, do you?”

 

Oh God, she’s even doing that pouty lip/fluttering eyelash thing! That. Is. _Cheating!!_ “Gh-ehh… A-Alright, alright! I’ll help, okay, just turn of the damn femme-power already!!”

 

The young Mano woman bounced up and down happy as a clam, while I sulked slightly at being defeated by my own chivalry. But just as fast, a side of me came up with a rather nasty idea to get back at that little sneak play of hers. “One thing, Yohko, I expect a favor in return for this little ‘Extreme Makeover’ of yours.”

 

The Devil Hunter’s chocolate brown eyes focused back on me and my growing smirk, blinking twice. “Favor? What kind of favor?”

 

I moved up close before whispering in her ear, seconds before she blushed red and pulled away from me, stammering wildly. “It’s either that, or no extra stuff. Besides, you did it in front of a metropolitan area before, how’s doing it in front of me worse?”

* * *

 

 

In the end, Yohko relented to my terms, such as they were, and once Iroh had settled on the Hawaiian shirt (dear lord, my eyes) and khaki shorts, we were well on our way into the city proper. Thankfully, I remembered an old nightclub that I visited a couple of times a few years ago. It seemed as good a place as any to finish up the evening after showing my three guests the inner city of Dallas. I started out by driving them to the city center using the I-35N freeway, as the motel I had them bunking in was right at one of that route’s off ramps. It was especially funny to hear Iroh geeking out over the buildings as we crossed the river.

 

“Incredible! Not even the Great Walls of Ba Sing Se could reach such heights. And with simple metal and glass, no less!” The aged firebender’s enthusiasm was contagious inside the car cabin, as Jadzia and I were soon smiling along with him. Yohko, however, had a melancholy air about her and was just looking out her door window as the night scenery passed by. She had exchanged her new outfit for the familiar red silk cheongsam that she wore as a Devil Hunter.

 

Didn’t take long for Iroh and Dax to notice how somber the young Mano woman was acting, though the retired general was the first to speak up about it. “Miss Yohko, what seems to be troubling you? Do you not find the towers of this city fascinating?”

 

The japanese woman’s frown deepened before answering. “Ask _Jon_.”

 

Not even a picosecond later I could feel the heat of the Trill Scientist’s eyes boring into the back of my head. “Jonathan, _what_ did you do to Yohko?”

 

I frowned, and would have stared right back at Dax were I not currently driving. “Hey, she knew the deal well in advance. If it was really that much of an embarrassment then she shouldn’t have agreed to the terms and just accepted the fact she wasn’t getting any extra clothes out of me. Not to mention, I got decked into La-La land just because I was present for Yohko’s wardrobe malfunction earlier today. The way I see it I’m giving her a two-for-one sale, under the circumstances.”

 

The Trill scientist gave off a confused reply, so I continued. “Lemme put it this way: There’s a reason Yohko’s in her work uniform right now.”

 

Much to the Starfleet officer’s credit, it didn’t take long for her to guess what I meant by that. “You bartered that dress she wanted for her performing her transformation for you.”

 

The young Mano woman’s face flushed scarlet again as I gave off a rather loud cackle. Suddenly though, the light music coming from my car’s radio was interrupted by an announcer coming on the airwaves. _“All travelers in and around the Dallas/Ft. Worth area should be advised of the unusual rise in violent behavior since the morning of December 7. All drivers are advised to adhere to defensive driving procedures as a precaution and to avoid the freeways wherever possible. We now return you to your regularly scheduled programming.”_  

 

I raised an eyebrow at that odd bit of news seconds before some jackass in a black and red muscle car roared past, clipping my bumper in the process. “Wha-? TH- _That_ **_ASSHOLE!!_** ” My foot stomped down the accelerator till it was pressing tight against the floorboard, forcing my silver Nissan forward as fast as the engine could muster. That guy might be driving a massive masculine overcompensation, but **no one** does that to my car!! I can barely hear the others shouting at me to slow down, but there’s no way I’m stopping till I catch up to that jackass. Oddly enough, my car seemed to respond to my mental demands for more speed as the speedometer continued to climb. 80 miles an hour... 90… 100 miles an hour. I caught up to that affront to the driving code and was in perfect position to bump his rear bumper just so so that he’d go into the middle dividing wall. Heh, that didn’t sound so bad now that I-

 

I felt someone’s hand clap onto my shoulder, snapping me out of what I had been doing moments ago. At the same time, my car slowed back down to the 65 mph I’d been going before I had the run-in with the speed demon. Not that I could remember any of that at the time. “Wha? Where’d the black car go?” I glanced in Yohko’s direction, noticing that she seemed rather concerned over what had happened earlier. “Guys, what just happened to me?”

* * *

Chapter End.


	2. Bad Temper?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Bet is ON! Jon has accepted his task of keeping three interdimensional house guests safe from whatever harm might befall them in this strange new world. But is all well in the city of Dallas?

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters, ideas, or concepts borrowed for the purposes of this story. I just wish to create stories to tell to all who would listen.

“ _ spoken _ ” - Possession

* * *

 

Thankfully that mad driver from before never made another appearance that night, so for the most part the rest of the evening was pretty entertaining. We all had dinner at the Spaghetti Warehouse in the West End, where I managed to convert the retired general to the wonders of Italian cuisine. After stuffing ourselves on the fifteen-layer lasagna, the four of us wandered about some more till we found one of the few dancing clubs scattered across the inner city. 

 

It was kind of a given that Jadzia had enough coordination and courage to dance effectively, what with several lifetimes of experience bolstering her own abilities… but Yohko…  _ damn. _ I don’t know if her devil hunting has anything to do with it, but I’ll tell you right now, that girl has dance embedded in her  **soul** . Iroh mostly felt like hanging out in the upstairs loft and observing all the goings on, while I stayed with the girls and tried my best to keep up with their skills. As the night dragged on, my company and I found ourselves mixing well with the crowd. Interesting highlights included Yohko using her grace and flexibility to leave several ‘pros’ in the dust as well as getting a job offer by the manager to be one of the full-time dancers. Dax somehow had managed to get on the DJ’s good side and was making the system churn out beats that had the whole place jumping! And Iroh,  _ ugh _ ,  **Iroh** apparently was showing that all princes come with a high bonus to Charisma as I found him actually chatting it up with three flirty little things  _ at the same time. _

 

I’m still trying to figure out how he does it. 

 

Unfortunately, all things must end and we managed to head out from the club and back to the hotel when it was still a couple hours from sunrise. I didn’t really feel like driving home so I more or less crashed next to the aged firebender for some much needed Z’s.

* * *

 

 

The next morning hit me with the sudden start of my phone’s ringtone waking me from a sound snoozing. The girls started coming to as well while I fumbled about in my pockets for a moment before finding my cell. Getting a call first thing in the morning doesn’t tend to be good news, and today wasn’t any exception. My job was suddenly swamped with orders to be delivered and they needed all hands that were available to assist with the rush. 

 

At first I had thought to deny the request since I still had an obligation to take care of my new friends. But that line of thought then reminded me of my  _ other  _ obligation: Getting that dress for Yohko. Now I wish I hadn’t been so insistent on getting her to follow through with her side of the deal, with the payment accepted I was now honorbound to deliver on my end. But as things stood I was starting to run low on money, however a busy day like today tended to mean large tips as well… 

 

Oh hell, who was I kidding? The store needs my help and I’ve never been able to say no before, why start now? I let them know I’d be by as fast as I could get freshened up and ended the call. 

 

“I take it our tour of the city in daylight will be postponed slightly?” Dax spoke while pulling herself out from under the comforter she and Yohko had been sharing. 

 

I started pulling my boots on before turning the Trill’s way. “In a matter of speaking, Jadzia. The place where I work need extra hands right now, so they called me in. Is it too much to hope that you three could just chill here today?” 

 

At that moment the devil hunter’s head popped up from under the sheets with a rather cross look on her face. “Not a chance in hell, Jon. I wanna see more than these four walls today.” 

 

A sigh escaped my lips moments before a thought struck me. If you can’t do something yourself, call a stand-in! One of the guys could keep everyone busy while I went in to work for a few ho- _ oh wait up. _ Mike’s doing his government job right now, Josh doesn’t have a car and Josh G is busy in Desoto.  _ Wonderful...  _

 

Almost right at that second my phone rang once again, startling me from my internal monologue. I quickly answered it, partly hoping that the store was calling me back to tell me to forget it, when the answer to my conundrum fall right into my lap. “He~ey Jon, haven’t heard from you in a while.”

 

My face lit up in a smile. “Ian…”

* * *

 

 

Ian Gram had just finished his masseur  training course and was waiting for the state to mail him his license to perform said duties, which made it easy to assume that he’d have the free time required for this planned stand-in session with my interdimensional houseguests. What I didn’t count on was how… eager he’d be in accepting. Granted, hearing about people from other worlds visiting Dallas sounds interesting to say the least, but Ian’s always struck me as a more down-to-earth kinda guy than most of my other friends. 

 

Anyway, within the hour I had motored everyone to my friend’s home in the suburbs of Oak Cliff, a tan brick two story home, just in time for him to stride purposefully to my window and motion me to roll it down. I did so, watching as he glanced about the cabin with a growing smirk on his face. “So let me get this straight, you brought with you three highly well-done cosplayers?  Jon, I don’t think I’ve ever known ya to pull pranks like this, you win the lotto when we weren’t lookin’?”

 

I smothered a few chuckles as Jadzia spoke up. “Honestly, I think he might’ve wanted to win something given how much he’s been paying for our things so far.” 

 

“Ian, I’m dead serious man. This is Jadzia Dax from DS9, Yohko from Devil Hunter Yohko and Iroh from Avatar.” I pointed to where each sat as I spoke, Dax in the front passenger seat next to me, Iroh behind the Trill scientist and Yohko behind me. 

 

I swear I could hear something chink in my ear as my friend’s stance and smile turned rigid for a second, then slipped back into a more relaxed form. “Jon, if ya  _ really  _ expect me to believe that these three are more than fans in costume I’m gonna need to see a little proof… care to join me inside?” 

 

We all made our way into Ian’s home and settled in his upstairs bedroom. Forest green was painted along all the walls with light brown trim near the carpet. From the door, if we assume that to be the southwest point, was a high set of hanging shelves alongside a medium-sized closet on the southern wall with a queen-sized bed along the southeast corner. Ian’s computer system took the northeast corner, while the north and west walls held more shelves for storage. A single window along the upper half of the north wall allowed the afternoon sunlight in, giving the living space a relaxed glow. 

 

My friend quickly took a seat at his computer desk, spinning his chair till it faced everyone else. Dax found a seat on the bed as did I, Iroh and Yohko pulling up a pair of folding chairs that had been stashed in the corner to form the rest of the semicircle. 

 

Gram smirked as if he already knew the outcome and spread out his arms wide. “Okay Jon,  _ Impress _ me.” 

 

The Starfleet officer made her move first by pulling out her tricorder and giving our host a quick scan, before turning it over to him so he could see the results. Glancing at it reminded me of the difference between a static prop on a TV show and a real…  _ living _ , I suppose is the word, piece of futuristic technology. “Medical tricorders would give a more detailed analysis of biological function along with visual aids here and there, but a basic model like this one is still capable of doing a bit of everything.” 

 

The Irishman’s eyebrow rose up slightly before taking the Federation tech trinket into his hands. “ _ Niiice.  _ When you make a costume, you go all out, don’t you?”

 

I clapped a hand to my face once I heard that. “Ian, what kind of person goes  _ that far _ in making a cosplay costume?”

 

“A  _ crazy person _ , Jon. A crazy person.”

 

The retired general drew attention to himself and proceeded to go into his own performance, forming three small balls of flame and casually juggling them for a few moments. I almost had to bite my tongue to smother my laughter as my friend’s eyes widened to the point of popping out of their sockets.  _ Then  _ just to drive the point home the aged firebender collected all three spheres together and merged them into a single large one. He then tossed it lightly into the air and swallowed the fireball whole, smirked with a waggle of his eyebrows before spouting a gout of fire straight up. As soon as it died down Iroh looked Ian dead in the eye while the rest of us applauded the performance. “I trust, young man, that you are willing to consider our position somewhat better now?” 

 

It took a not even a moment for Ian’s brain to reboot from that a look of dawning realization, whipping around to Yohko’s direction with a look that I could only describe as a calculated leer. “Jon, does Yohko transform?”

 

I would’ve commented, but the devil hunter beat me to it. “I am  **NOT** doing that in public!!” 

 

“So you can’t,” Ian shot right back in complete deadpan, his face a mask a dull boredom as if he hadn’t  _ just _ seen what Iroh had done.

 

“Well of course I  _ can _ , I just don’t wan-” she started to say, just as my friend cut her off.

 

“Nah, sounds like you can’t and you’re just making excuses up,” Ian’s face retained that same look of boredom and now even looked a bit dismissing.

 

The young woman seemed slightly off center as she went through the very novel experience of  _ defending  _ the fact she was a devil hunter. “Y-yes, I can!”

 

The Irishman leaned back in his chair. “Nope, obviously can’t.” 

 

“I can so!” 

 

“Lying isn’t healthy.”

 

“I’m not lying!”

 

“Prove it.”

 

Yohko was absolutely livid as she suddenly stood up out of her chair. “ _ Fine! _  I-”

 

The aged firebender suddenly clapped his hands once to break the building tension. “Miss Yohko, now would not be a good time to commit rash actions such as that. “

 

Her brow furrowed slightly as she tried to process what the retired general meant by that... and then she remembered what she had been about to do… right there… in front of  _ everyone _ . Her entire face and neck lit up bright red while I fell onto my back on the bed howling in laughter. Ian for his part had simply crossed his arms in front of himself with his smugtastic smugly smirk on his face. Finally, with nothing else she could do in her defense the young Mano woman slumped back down in her chair mumbling about how all americans are perverts. Though it was interesting to note that I’m apparently nicer about it than Ian was. 

 

From there the conversation drifted to more sedate topics that still interested Ian and myself, such as some of the real hard sciences the the Federation now had at it’s disposal or Ian’s skills as a masseuse. The retired general mentioned how some firebenders could use their abilities to make make someone feel like an absolute blob of contentment - my words, not his - and soon enough the irishman and Iroh were going back and forth about possible ways to use firebending and massage points to make the process even better for a client. Part way through the discussion, Yohko began showing interest, citing that there were times her body became rather sore from her exertions as a devil hunter. 

 

Ian quickly offered to show her some of his abilities since some of the things he and Iroh were talking about were better understood with a subject to perform them on. I only heard Yohko start to accuse my friend of some hidden nasty motive before the lieutenant commander drew my attention away with a conversation about some of the oddest beings she’d managed to see as part of her exobiology studies. 

 

A little time later a deep feminine moan cut through the room just as the Trill scientist was going into a detailed account of a species that actually had a type of eye that could see your current emotional state. Jadzia and I turned in that direction only to find the Mano woman laid out quivering slightly on my friend’s massage table as Ian and Iroh worked on her back and shoulders. Well, to be completely accurate,  _ Iroh  _ looked to be teaching Ian some sort of Chi-based massage technique while the Irishman tried his best to emulate the process. Judging by how Yohko was now acting like someone had just tagged the mythical O-spot, it seemed like he’d figured it out.

 

And while I tried very hard not to do it, frankly my wit was aching to churn out a joke or two. “Ian Gram: A Truly  _ Orgasmic  _ Experience... ” 

 

“Damn straight.” The irishman frowned before standing up fully from his Horse stance. “I’m still missing something though...” 

 

With that, Ian strode quickly from the room just as Yohko weakly lifted a hand in his direction. “...wait... don’t go… please...” 

 

Ian, to his credit, simply stopped midway out the door and gave the devil hunter a wink before moving on.

 

Jadzia raised an eyebrow at the entire exchange and turned back my way. “Jon, do you think it’s too late to ask your friend to give me what she’s having?” 

 

I smirked. “Given that he’s heading for the Can, it may take a while.”

 

Iroh quickly checked to make sure Yohko wouldn’t fall off the table in her current condition before joining the conversation. “Still, for a man with no obvious training in manipulating his energies, Mr. Gram is a rather quick study. It only took him 30 minutes to get a reaction out of Miss Yohko.” 

 

I suddenly blanched when I heard the aged firebender speak. “Thirty  _ Minutes _ ?! How long have we been here?!” 

 

“...about an hour or so… what’s it matter?” The Japanese woman gave a contented sigh before sensually rising into a sitting position. “This  _ definitely _ makes this a vacation to remember. No Demons, no interruptions when I go out at night, no pesky family meddling in my business-” Yohko suddenly gave off a girlish giggle before continuing. ”And best of all:  _ No Demons _ !” 

 

Suddenly the lights above flickered for an instant as Dax’s tricorder began emitting odd sounds from it’s place at her belt. With practiced ease, she flipped out the device and began looking over the data being displayed. “Guys, my tricorder’s picking up some kind of subspace resonance close by.” She stared at the device a few seconds more before continuing. ”It’s gone. Whatever that was-”

 

The Trill was prevented from continuing by Ian loudly clamoring back into his room with a manic grin on his face. “Yohko, get back the way you were, I know what to do.”

 

When she started to ask about what he might do, the Irishman quickly moved up to her, spun her around and pushed her back down onto the table on her stomach. The rest of us, me  _ especially _ , were rather surprised at this sudden forcefulness on our host’s part. Yohko would’ve been far more vocal about it than we were except for the fact that when Ian began massaging her upper back again, her face quickly gained a shocked, then happily flushed look before she settled down with a quiet sigh. 

 

“...oOhhh, not even  _ sex _ feels this good!” She cooed as Ian’s talented hands moved about her back. 

 

Despite myself, a smile formed on my face at the sight of everyone getting along well. I stood and started to make for the door. With Ian keeping everyone occupied, I could zip off to work and not be to-

 

Suddenly a loud crash and a scream from behind made me jerk back around, only to see the image of Iroh in a guard stance in front of Yohko, the Devil Hunter looking confusedly forward with growing shock. Jadzia had her phaser out and pointed forward at my friend, who just  _ glared  _ at all of us… with a pair of glowing crimson eyes. 

 

Ian smirked cruelly and turned his gaze at the retired general. “ _ Didn’t expect you to notice, old man _ .” 

 

My blood ran cold hearing that, not at what was said, but  _ how  _ it was said. It was like a thousand cracking, scratching voices that somehow harmonized enough to be understood. 

 

“I thought it strange that you had seemed to gain such a sudden understanding of chi and it’s use, so I thought it wise to observe you in case you were not simply bluffing.” Iroh’s stance shifted while his eyes stayed firmly locked onto the Irishman’s form. “I am afraid must ask you to depart this young man, spirit, and not trouble us again.” 

 

_ “Not a chance. We are but the first… and far from the last. Be afraid, Devil Hunter, for you are  _ **too late** _ this time! _ ” Dax suddenly took a shot at the possessed Irishman only to have him lean away from the red beam of laser light. In the next instant, he leapt at me and used me to springboard himself through the bedroom window while Dax took a couple more potshots. The impact flung me into the wall opposite the window, stunning me for a moment or two. When I finally shook it off, Ian was gone. 

 

All I could was stare out the shattered window at my friend’s retreating form. This honestly  _ can’t  _ be happening… Demons aren’t supposed to exist anymore, or at least not be able to do supernatural crap on  _ this scale _ ! What could’ve- 

 

My eyes suddenly widened as a thought came to me. Slowly, I turned my sight away from the window and focused on the young Mano woman. ‘ _ It  _ knew  _ her...’  _

 

My little epiphany helped set the rest of my brain on autopilot as I patted down my pockets making sure my keys and everything were accounted for. I then turned towards the door. “Yohko, I need you to transform  _ now _ .”

 

The Devil Hunter balked and began to protest before I cut her off. “Use the bathroom if you need some privacy, but the only way I’m getting my friend back from being a demon’s timeshare is with a  _ devil hunter _ .” 

 

Yohko looked at me strangely for a few moments. “O-okay, Jon.” 

 

As she ducked into the lavatory to change, I turned toward Iroh and Jadzia who were both looking at me. “Dax, you’re the most experienced person here, bar none. What do we do?”  

 

The Trill scientist blinked twice before pulling out her tricorder. “Well, I’m afraid none of my hosts ever had experience dealing with a possessed human before. I’ve still got Ian’s scan data from before… I might be able to use it to get a fix on him, but honestly my expertise ends there. Iroh’s a general though, and he seems aware of this type of supernatural phenomenon, I say we should follow his lead.”

The aged firebender crossed his arms in front of him with a solemn look on his face. “ _ Retired  _ general, Commander Dax. And to be completely honest, my days of ordering men to their victory or death is something I would rather keep in the past. Furthermore, while I have experience in dealing with spirits and with troops, the terrain is something completely unfamiliar to me as is our adversary. It would be best to follow the lead of someone who knew not only the area, but also the abilities of those he commanded.”

 

I felt an honest-to-GOD chill go down my back as the Trill and Fire Nation prince looked at me at that moment. I quickly grasped what they were on about and tried to object as calmly and rationally as I could. “ **_ME?!_ ** Ohhhh N-n-n-n-NO, man! I’m no officer… Lord, I’m not even a soldier! Just an average guy who knows  _ way too much  _ about trivial crap like anime and games! How the bleeping crap is  _ that  _ going to help get Ian back unharmed?!” 

 

The retired general locked eyes with my own, before sighing aloud. “Yes, that is most likely true. I suppose then you could assist Dax or myself with any knowledge that might help our strategizing?”

 

I nodded in agreement, and soon the two of them came up with a plan of attack, Iroh handling the spiritual side of things while Dax applied her tech savvy to the problem. Within moments a plan was hatched, Jadzia and Iroh would keep my infested friend still using suppressive fire in the form of phaser blasts and flame attacks while Yohko came in from another vector and dealt with the monster. The devil hunter had come out of the bathroom changed into her work clothes, and had joined in on the conversation at that point. She mentioned that most Demons and Devils would escape the host body when confronted and revert to their true form making it a matter of simply slaying it. 

 

Of course, it didn’t escape my notice that I wasn’t really  _ in  _ any part of this plan of theirs outside of driving my car to chase after Ian if he decided to run for it. “So what am I supposed to do during this whole thing? Just stay in the car and keep my head down?!” 

 

Dax frowned as she replied. “Effectively, yes. Let’s be honest, Jon, you can’t really bring anything of use against this thing. You  _ know  _ what my training as a Starfleet officer insists upon when it comes to people like you: Get Them Out of Harm’s Way.”

 

I’ll admit it, hearing that stung  _ hard _ . I mean, yea, on a purely intellectual level it made perfect sense to keep me out of the action. I brought nothing to the table, not even a gun or rudimentary fighting skills, and I’d be hesitant to use them against a friend if I  _ did  _ have anything. But look at it from the other perspective, in a way this sort of situation was like something I’d dreamed about as a little kid for years… having a great adventure alongside incredible people… and then it happens… And those same incredible people look at you and treat you like the nameless mook you actually are when all hell breaks loose. 

 

Yea… this’s really shaping up to be a good day, isn’t it? 

 

I was so lost in my thoughts it took Dax calling my name a few times and Yohko shaking my shoulder to snap me out of it. “Jon, are you gonna be okay?” 

 

I sighed before turning to the door. “Let’s just get this over with, Dax.”  

* * *

 

 

We soon picked up Ian’s trail and managed to catch up to him deep inside a forested park a couple of miles from the Irishman’s house. We all piled out of my car and began following my friend’s trail of destruction to the source. The ground and various clumps of trees nearby had visible chunks torn out as my infested friend toyed with the runners that couldn’t get away fast enough. I knew that since we found… the remains… of said runners along the way. 

 

I felt horribly sick to my stomach after seeing one with his whole chest split open and entrails running down the front, but I was just able to hold it in. Then we came to the next one that looked even  _ worse  _ which was apparently more than my stomach could take. I just made it to some nearby bushes before losing the remains of my late breakfast that day. The aged firebender quickly moved to my aid as I dry heaved a few more times. “Jon, perhaps it is best if you do not accompany us any further. This monster is drawing pleasure from destruction, and I doubt such mutilations are the worst he can do.”

 

Through the pain of my disturbed stomach, the images running through my head, Iroh’s words lodged themselves into my brain… and proceeded to Piss. Me. OFF. “I. Am Not. Gonna bow down to something that two girls can handle easily.” 

 

With that, I quickly stood up and started moving forward down the trail of gore. When I next turned back the three of them were all looking at me with odd smiles on their faces again. "What?" 

 

"I was just thinking that you can sound really cool sometimes, Jon." Yohko walked past me with a sashay in her step after that, followed by Dax who just gave a wink in my direction as she passed.

 

"Iroh, what did I say just now?" I uttered in confusion.

 

"My young friend, mysteries such as that must be solved on your own. Revealing it for you will diminish the wisdom you would otherwise obtain." The retired general then walked on ahead of me, while I followed a second after begging him to give me a hint at least.

 

We soon reached our quarry as the forested path we were walking down led to a wide open field with a few scattered trees and a large playground. From the look of things the police had finally responded to all the commotion with several cars and armed officers surrounding my possessed friend, who in turn had been casually swatting at them with various energy attacks forcing the cops to keep their distance. Simple gestures, waving hands and thrusting palms that brought forth blasts of force, purple lightning, and dark flames upon the helpless Dallas defenders, but what had me start to question the validity of this plan of ours was a simple fact.

 

The demon was still using Ian’s body while attacking.  

 

Frankly, the fact the demon had been doing all that without shifting forms should’ve been my first clue as to what was about to happen. We all split up for our individual tasks, in my case, hiding behind a single large tree to observe the fight without getting in the way. Dax and Iroh came at their opponent from the front as Yohko summoned her soul sword and dashed to the side, flanking him. The Trill Scientist fired off stun blasts that kept Ian on the defensive as the retired general used his firebending to keep their opponent corralled between the phaser and the flames. 

 

But as Yohko announced herself as her grandmother had taught her to over a decade ago, things quickly turned ugly. "I hold no enmity for those coerced into evil! But to those vile beings who toy with the hearts a-  _ hguk!! _ " 

 

The devil hunter was suddenly wrenched upward into the air by an invisible hand of force as the Irishman’s attention focused upon her. " _ Nice try, babe... but that ol' catch phrase of yours isn't gonna make me drop this handy new suit of mine."  _ Just then, a thought struck my possessed pal, making him grin in a way that seemed far too wide to be normal. " _ Speaking of suits. _ .."

 

Both the Trill scientist and aged firebender halted their attacks now that Yohko was dangling in midair by her throat, allowing the demon his next move. Raising one hand with the index and ring fingers pointing towards the young Mano woman, the infested Irishman slashed his hand straight down. At the same time, Yohko’s dress split cleanly down the middle and the severed halves of the front hung limply off of her shoulders, leaving her chest and torso exposed for all to see.

 

"Why is it every time I fight a monster, it tries to strip my clothes off?!" The devil hunter managed to say as she tried using her free hand to loosen what held her aloft. 

 

" _ Fanservice, honey. That and it's rather easy to get you to keep those nasty powers of yours under wraps if you're distracted by the need to protect your modesty.  _ " With that, Ian slashed at her again with his hand, this time from side-to-side, jerking her sword out of her grip and flinging it away from her. I quickly ducked behind my hiding place just in time for the blade to imbed itself in the trunk and the tip appear a few inches from my nose.

 

My eyes crossed slightly seeing that. "Hoookay... that was close..." 

 

I looked back to the fight scene noticing Iroh trying to attack the possessed Irishman only to impact a barrier of energy that had formed around Ian’s body. Dax ratcheted up the power to her phaser and fired off several blasts, only to have them deflect off the shield uselessly. This… is wrong. This... I’m supposed to just  _ sit here  _ and watch this farce go on?! 

 

Maybe it was the fact I'd felt useless up to that point in the fight, or the fact a friend of mine was in peril right in front of my eyes, or it was simply that odd suicidal urge humans get when a bigger threat than they are shows up making us pileup on it, but as my gaze focused on the edge of Yohko’s Soul Sword I stopped thinking and started  _ doing _ .

 

I quickly grasped the blade and started pulling, hoping to loosen it enough so that I could shimmy it out of the tree trunk, only to have the weapon give off a slight glow and slide out of the wood as if it had been inside a sheath the whole time. 

 

Not really caring for the ease of my sudden armament, I ran forward as fast as I could and took a downward swing at the possessed Irishman. The sword impacted hard against the energetic construct, sending numbing shocks up my arms. The twisted cackle of the demon filled my ears before cutting off suddenly. The sword had started glowing a little bit brighter as cracks began to show on the barrier where it had been touching the blade.

 

With a screeching hiss the hand that had been holding Yohko up let go of her and focused on me, blasting me clear and away from it’s owner. The irishman then leapt up from his standing position and arced high over everyone’s heads before landing somewhere behind the denser treeline and out of sight. For my part I’d been thrown back a fair distance only to make a sliding impact on the relatively soft ground. Amazingly I’d managed to keep a firm grip on Yohko’s soul sword the entire time and after I had shook off all the grass and such I walked back to where everyone else was… being slightly grilled by the cops that seen the whole thing.

 

Oh.  _ Joy. _

 

The lieutenant commander drew the police men's attention away from Iroh, Yohko and myself and began trying to cement our standing as the 'good guys' instead of fellow threats to the public good. Or she was trying to make like this was a movie scene being filmed, I wasn't really paying attention to that. Instead, I zeroed in on where the devil hunter had fallen during the fighting. She'd managed to shake off her sudden descent and was sitting upright on the grass while holding the halves of her sliced uniform closed to preserve as much of her dignity as possible.

 

"You gonna be okay, girl?" I smirked her way as she looked back up at me with a small smile creeping up her face. 

 

“I’ll be okay, Jon. Not the first time I’ve been left like this at the end of a fight.” She gave off a sigh before continuing. ”I just wish it didn’t take a couple of hours for my dress to reform. Plus, I'll have to change back first!” 

 

I blinked twice in surprise. "I thought that uniform of yours was part an’ parcel with the Yoma Ring?” 

 

Yohko’s braids swayed to and fro as she shook her head in the negative. “I use the ring to transform, yea, but it's my own powers that allow the dress exist in the first place." 

 

_'That's an odd bit of trivia..._ ' I moved to hand the Soul Sword back to its proper owner, and the moment the weapon left my hands I suddenly fell forward as my vision blacked out.

* * *

 

 

"...anyone get the number of that demon...?" I squeaked out as I woke up from whatever took me out. I sat up expecting to see EMTs everywhere, but the whole place was empty save for the gouges in the grass to mark what had taken place earlier.

 

The retired general was at my side suddenly, poking various sections of my body at random. "How do you feel, Jonathan? Any lightheadedness, perhaps?" 

 

I thought about it for a second. "Not really, man. I'm kinda wondering what K.O.'d me in the first place."

 

Iroh chuckled lightly as his right hand fell upon my shoulder. "I have never seen one’s chi flare up so suddenly, so I can only guess to it’s side effects." 

 

I did  _ what  _ now? "Now hold up, Iroh. At what point could I have done anything like that? All I did was swing Yohko’s sword at the demon, how would that 'flare up my chi'?"

 

The aged firebender shrugged. “I am unsure why that would have such an effect, all I know is that it has happened. Your energies have stirred and are slowly waxing. You should make sure to rest often and eat more than usual until your chi stabilizes.” 

 

My eyes rolled in my head at the ‘medical advice’. “Thanks doc, I’ll get right on the feast preparations once we-” I suddenly jerked upwards into a standing position. “IAN! Where is he?!” 

 

Dax’s voice turned my head to the left of me where she was fiddling with her tricorder. “He moved about a klik southwest and then stopped, he’s been holding position ever since. It seems likely that Ian is waiting for us to catch up to him for some reason. As for the police, they moved on when more reports came on their radio systems about other sorts of disturbances like this one.”  

 

You’d think with a devil hunter on his tail he’d try to get as far away as he could. Reminded of our fourth party member, I started looking around the clearing for the young Mano woman. “So where’s Yohko at?”

 

The retired general gave off a slight grin as he crossed his arms and shut his eyes as if deep in thought. “She returned to your vehicle and is waiting for us. I believe she may be a little flustered after what just occurred.” 

 

“Um… what exactly happened, Iroh?” 

 

His grin simply widened before he opened his eyes and locked them with mine.“When you passed out before you collapsed on top of Miss Yohko, pushing the both of you down onto the ground. As a result, your head ended up buried within her soft bosom. Or at least, I assume her chest was such since you seemed to mumble something of how comfortable you were at the time.” 

 

Dax gave of a slight snort before she and Iroh both started laughing quietly at the memory. At the same time, my mind filled in the blanks for what else must’ve happened, actually making me blush and grimace at once. “Figures. First time I come in contact with tits that don’t belong to my mother and I’m unconscious for the whole thing.”

 

That brought forth a whole new round of laughter from the pair so I, in turn, hightailed it back to the car. It was still in the side lot I had parked it in earlier, the devil hunter quietly sitting in the front passenger seat with the door hanging open. I started to move towards the car but stalled to a halt. What would I say, exactly? Sorry for doing a faceplant into your boobs and noting the softness while asleep? 

 

...Ah, fuck it. Just apologize man, it’s not like you had a chance with her beyond being friends anyway. 

 

I moved up to the passenger side of the car and got Yohko’s attention only to again freeze up for an instant when she locked eyes with mine. I shook it off quickly before bowing my head in the Japanese style as best I could while saying how sorry I was for embarrassing her earlier. I know, it’s odd to do that sort of thing but I honestly thought it might help in some way. 

 

"Why are you apologizing, Jon?" I lifted my head while keeping my bent over position allowing me to see the young Mano woman looking at me with a rather confused expression. “I mean, it’s very nice you actually bowed like back home instead of however you do it here but it’s not like you  _ planned _ to fall unconscious into my chest, right?”  

 

My cheeks heated up slightly in response and I just managed to stutter out an agreement. “Um, but that said, Yohko, why exactly  _ are  _ you being so understanding about all this? I always thought girls would react… erm, what’s a good word for this?” 

 

The Japanese woman’s eyes became half-lidded as a smirk grew on her face. “Aggressively?” 

 

“That’s actually one of the words I was trying to  _ avoid. _ " I grimaced slightly.  "Besides, you did react as expected before back in the hotel room."

 

Now it was the Devil Hunter's turn to frown. "That was  _ different,  _ Jon." 

 

And I, in turn, now sported a smirk. “Uh  _ huh _ . Same situation, same body location, different reaction. Try again.”

 

Yohko huffed and turned her head away from me, her body slowly tensing up. “It-it’s just  _ different, _ Jon.” 

 

“I’m sure it is in Yohko’s World, but if you want it to make sense in  _ Jon’s  _ World you’re gonna have to give me more than ‘It’s different.’” My smirk faded as Yohko seemed to shrink in on herself mumbling something quietly. “C’mon girl, what’s up? What’s got you speaking on eggshells around me?” 

 

“...the fact that there isn’t any way to save Ian apart from killing him...” 

 

I blinked once, twice, and twice more before I spoke up again. “I’m sorry, could you repeat that? Because it sounded very much like you said you were considering  _ killing. My.  _ **_Friend_ ** .” 

 

I dunno if it was her guilt over the situation or how my face looked at that moment, but either way the Devil Hunter turned to face me for an instant before shivering slightly and jerking her gaze the other way. 

 

“Jon, you saw how trying to restrain him almost got us killed. If you were in his position, wouldn’t you want to make sure that you were stopped, even if that meant having to die?” I turned back around to see that Dax and Iroh had finally caught up to us. As the Trill met my eyes with her own she stood her ground and continued speaking. “Iroh doesn’t know how to get this… whatever this is out of your friend. Nothing in Starfleet Sciences or Federation protocols involving telepaths that my previous hosts or myself have seen comes  _ close  _ to what I just witnessed back there. And while Yohko mentioned a talisman of hers that might do the job-” 

 

My head perked up at that, a smile slowly growing on my face.

 

“-that spell requires materials that would take far too long for her to get without accepting the fact that the next time Ian goes on the move he might hit something far more populated than a public park.”

 

My head dropped as the frowning snarl slapped itself back onto my face quick as could be. ...She’s right.  _ They’re  _ right. Even if Yohko started drawing the ofuda right now there just wouldn’t be… enough… time? Hang on a sec-

 

My eyes locked with Dax’s in an instant. “Dax, how long does someone remain under the effects of a maximum stun blast?” 

 

The Trill Scientist looked slightly stunned at my suggestion before continuing. “An average adult humanoid would be under for about 4-6 hours at that setting, provided a non-critical area was hit like the brain. But some humanoids are capable of shaking off the effects much sooner, those can be up in about an hour or less. ” 

 

The aged firebender stepped into the conversation at that moment. “Miss Yohko, might it be possible for you to create one of your talismans within that time if the conditions were ideal?”     

 

A small smile started to blossom upon the Mano woman’s face as she thought about it. “...maybe. The biggest problem is in making sure the characters are drawn precisely, but if I’m in an area without any kinds of distractions, I think I can do it.” 

 

The lieutenant commander’s voice cut into the conversation as she unholstered her phaser. “Jon, my phaser didn’t _ work  _ on him using the stun setting before. Even at maximum, I think it’s too dangerous to try this idea of yours.” 

 

A part of me smirked at that. “Dax, I think we have to try. Besides, I think it’s more accurate to say your phaser didn’t work on his  _ shield _ , instead of him.” There was more… C’mon Jon if you don’t convince ‘em of this you’re gonna have to go along with killing your friend and it’ll be  _ your fault _ ! “I think that… the demon inside of Ian has given him powers like that of a psyker, so first we need to-” 

 

“What exactly is a ‘psyker’, Jonathan?” Iroh spoke up suddenly, interrupting me. 

 

“It’s a use-all term for beings that can develop multiple types of mental abilities like telekinesis or telepathy, some stories and games use it. Anyway, I think what we can do is-”

 

Now Dax got in on derailing my train of thought. “Now wait just a minute! Are you trying to tell us you came up with this plan of yours from these games you like to play?!” 

 

I snapped back at her with a fair amount of the stress I’d been building up at that point. “YES Dax, I’ve come up with a  _ very _ hairbrained scheme to save Ian that I came up with using my game trivia and observational knowledge from the last fight that may in reality have a snowball’s chance in hell of actually working. Now can I  _ please  _ tell you guys my idea so we can get on with it or shoot it down?!” 

 

No one gave a reply to that, but the retired general was suddenly next to me and giving that same super glare that he’d hit me with when we first met. I flinched back slightly, but then started returning his glare with my own. Moments started to pass, and just when I thought he was gonna turn me down, he suddenly stepped away from me with the serious look still on his face. “I… will help you with this plan, my young friend. But I think that we should also prepare for the worst case scenario, and swiftly, in case this idea of yours fails to succeed.” 

 

I thought about it for a second, then nodded my agreement. Dax and Yohko were soon on board as well, and I detailed my first crazy plan to they who would become my team.

* * *

 

 

All the while I’d been revealing my idea, I half expected Dax to say that Ian was again on the move and I’d be forced to just gun him down before he hurt someone else. 

 

As we drove to where he was waiting for us, since by this point it seemed clear he  _ was  _ waiting for us, I thought he’d start running and it would end with some grand shootout a few miles away near a school or something. 

 

Which meant once the four of us were standing at an opening in the brush cover that would guide us to where the Irishman still remained, I was so nervous and scared and jittery that if someone stepped on a twig at that point I’d probably keel over right then and there.  _ ‘What am I doing? Who am I to give commands to  _ these people _? ’ _

 

But just when it seemed like I’d pass out from breathing too much, I felt a warm, rough hand clap itself onto my forearm. “You have already crafted an excellent plan, my friend. Now all you need do is execute it.”

 

My eyes followed the sound and locked onto the retired general’s face. “Do not look so distraught, or that feeling will spread to those you lead.”

 

I felt my shoulders hunch close to each other. “But what makes me qualified to be a leader? Yea, I came up with this cockamamy idea in the first place just so that I wouldn’t have to kill one of my best friends, but I’m no soldier. I’m just… just someone normal and boring.”

 

The aged firebender nodded with eyes closed before crossing his arms in front of himself. “Yes, this is true. You are no soldier.” His left eye opened to look at me for an instant, then it’s twin joined it as his face lit up in a smile. “However, I have watched you for the past few days, as you interacted with us and allowed us to see your world. I have seen a young man of kind heart, who has given of himself simply because it is what his honor and conscience insist upon. Who when faced with a threat to one he calls a friend has then reached into himself to find the will to do what needs to be done. And while it is true that you are not trained for this sort of situation, frankly I have known many who  _ were _ that fared far worse when battle came.”

 

I smiled a little at that, before the worried frown reasserted itself. “But  _ everything _ depends on the next few seconds. What if I mess this up, Iroh?” 

 

Brown eyes full of age and wisdom focused upon hazel eyes full of doubt. “Even plans conceived by the most cunning strategists are like simple bubbles of soap when used against the enemy. Thus, a leader must fortify that plan with the skills and trust of those he commands, turning a fragile bubble into a mighty barricade.” 

 

He and I then gazed to the side where Dax was waving her hand to get our attention, the signal that Yohko was in position and ready to go. “The time has come. Are you ready, young  _ captain _ ?” 

 

Maybe it was how he said it, or just what he called me right then, but I swear to this day so many years later it was as if a switch went off in my mind clearing away the mist inside. And what was left, I’m actually a little proud to say, was ready to rock. “Let’s do this, old man.” 

 

Iroh nodded with a smirk and the both of us strode through the breach. Inside, the bare branches above our heads allowed enough light in to make sight an easy thing. Ian was sitting cross-legged in the center of the covered clearing next to the jagged stump of an old tree that had once shaded the immediate area alongside it’s kin. Hie head tilted at the aged firebender and myself before grinning slightly.  _ “Nice to see you finally showed up. Any longer and I would’ve been ready to come back after you,  _ **_devil hunter_ ** _.”  _

 

The aged firebender and I turned to face each other for an instant before turning our very confused gazes back upon the possessed Irishman. “I’m a  _ what  _ now?”

 

My friend’s glowing eyes suddenly brightened considerably as he snarled at the both of us.  _ “You as well as this host would take me for a fool! You honestly believe centuries of battle against the accursed women of the Mano line would not give us insight into some of the magic’s workings?! You are turning. Soon, very soon your essence will be at it’s peak and then!  _ **_Then_ ** _ another thrice-damned line of Hunters will begin.”  _ Just then, Ian seemed to regain his composure as his eyes dimmed to their original luminescence and his mouth formed into a grin.  _ “Thus why I decided to find an out of the way place and wait for you to follow me, since here there are few things to interfere with me ending this problem before it begins…”  _

 

He raised his left hand as eldritch lightning began to gather within it.  _ “One Devil Hunter away, no doubt licking her wounds. The foreigner Trill, using her crafts and sciences to aid the Hunter’s recovery, and no doubt leaving her light weapon in your care. Which leaves an old man crippled by regrets and a man with a little boy’s heart to face me.  _ **_Pathetic_ ** _.”  _ __

 

My face gave a deep frown for an instant at the Irishman’s description of myself and my new friends, before following through with the plan and letting a smirk that I really didn’t feel form on my lips. “Maybe so, man, but I have to wonder about something.” 

 

Ian paused in his windup with a slightly confused expression as I nonchalantly tucked my hands into the pockets of my jeans. “What makes you think the girls would avoid all the fun?” 

 

My possessed friend’s eyes widened seconds before the branches behind him began to rustle loudly. He quickly spun around and tossed the energy ball at the noise, grinning when a sudden shriek filled his ears. 

 

That grin didn’t fade even as a bright red gout of flame impacted against a barrier that had up to this point been completely invisible. Ian turned back our way before shaking his head dramatically.  _ “Hitting a man in the back? Such a dishonorable tactic…” _

 

The retired general took that as his cue and dove for the possessed Irishman while I stood still with a pinched expression on my face. Iroh and Ian quickly traded off blows and kicks, fire blasts and waves of psychic energy. It was at that point I turned to the right and called out. “Yohko, Jadzia, now!!” 

 

At that moment the Trill Scientist and Devil Hunter both burst from the barren bushes to the right and far side of the clearing. Yohko, though not transformed into a Devil Hunter, rushed at the demon with several inscribed slips of paper while Dax covered her advance with several beams of crimson light from her chosen weapon. 

 

We might as well have shot mace in his eyes. The moment Ian noticed the talismans he made every motion possible to keep distance from the young Mano woman. Unfortunately, the lieutenant commander’s energy beams bounced off of his barrier harmlessly and the aged firebender was doing more damage to the surroundings instead of his target. The Irishman wasn’t limiting himself to just dodging, however, choosing to toss lightning and various large branches that he could get his mental grip on any of the trio fighting him as they moved and dodged in turn. 

 

I’d like to say there was some sort of rhythm to it, but frankly it was a three-for-all that was slowly but surely taxing the demon’s abilities beyond their limits. But just when it looked like we’d simply tire him out to the point of collapse, he suddenly made a mad dash for me forcing the others to stop their attacks or risk hitting me in the process. 

 

Now with me held in front of him and his left hand free to aim another energy blast at me, the Irishman’s grin was back in force.  _ “I thought you were smarter than this, Jon. The three of them just fought me to a standstill right in front of you and all you could do was stand and  _ **_watch_ ** _. You didn’t even try to dodge out of the way of… wait.”  _

 

His expression fell at the same exact moment the energy of a phaser blast pierced his side, dropping him to the ground. I stepped away from Ian a few paces and turned to face him, which allowed the Irishman to see that I had Dax’s phaser in my hand. He seemed to have lost the ability to speak, instead bearing his teeth in a fierce snarl while I began speaking. “Yea, I know: ‘Didn’t the Trill only have one weapon?’ You’re right, she did.” 

 

I gave a nod to Jadzia who showed off the boxy frame of her tricorder and proceeded to shoot herself in the hand with it, leaving no damage. “It seems tricorders can do a pretty good visual of a phaser blast when tuned properly, even though it has no actual power behind the shot. But since we were counting on you actually keeping up that barrier of yours the whole time, the possibility of you getting hit and noticing what wasn’t there seemed rather small.”

 

Iroh moved behind the Irishman and got a firm grip on his shoulders, keeping Ian in a kneeling position. “Now we’re all going to stay put right here, until Yohko heads to the car and comes back with an  _ actual  _ ofuda charm to use on you, then say our goodbyes and banish your ethereal ass back where it came from nice and proper.” 

 

My possessed friend lost his snarl and managed to tilt his head towards the Devil Hunter. She in turn grinned widely and showed that the strips of paper in her hand had the kanji for Fake messily drawn upon them.     

 

The demon seemed to be gaining a little more fluidity in what movement he could make as his body visibly relaxed in front of us.  _ “Well done, Hunter. You have valiantly risked life and limb for a trusted friend. But is it worth it, I wonder, knowing what he has done?”  _

 

I frowned deeply. “All those people that were killed back there were  _ your  _ doing, monster! You’re just using my friend’s body like a puppet!” 

 

The possessed Irishman lifted his head to face me before grinning fiercely. _“Are you so certain? Surely you must be curious as to_ **why** _it was so easy for me to possess this man’s body…”_

 

I thought about it for a few moments before answering. “There isn’t anything to be curious about. You possessed him, end of story.” 

 

At that instant, the grin turned into a snarl!  _ “Then allow me to show how limited your perception can be!!”  _

 

The demon sudden broke free from Iroh’s grip and lunged for me, and my hand squeezed the phaser on reflex. The beam hit Ian smack dab in the center of his forehead while a small bolt of lightning from the aged firebender struck him from behind. The next thing I know, my possessed friend was sprawled upon the ground and I dropped to my knees at the sight as my legs lost the strength to hold me up. 

 

I dunno how long I just sat there with the words ‘I killed him’ racing through my head before my body decided it had had enough fun today and allowed me to pass out in a dead faint.

* * *

 

 

As I woke up this time I started to wonder if I would somehow lose my right to call myself a man if I fainted in the presence of women anymore today. That thought made me give off a snort of laughter before the reason why I fainted came back to me.

 

...I killed him.

 

I mean, I suppose Ian would’ve preferred that to being that demon’s meat puppet any longer… still though…

 

It was around that point I registered the fact I was back in Ian’s room, on his bed, as I turned my head towards the window. I squeezed my eyes shut hoping to stall any tears from escaping as I continued to silently grieve over all that had gone down. To win, to succeed despite everything that could’ve gone wrong and then have that very victory blown apart right in front of you. A sob managed to sneak out of my throat as did a few tears from my sealed eyelids.  

 

“Jon, you awake?” I heard Dax’s voice to the right of me just as a warm hand lightly shook my left shoulder. I opened my eyes and saw the Trill scientist looking over me with a gentle expression on her face. “How’re you feeling?”

 

I snorted a lungfull of air in through my nose to clear it of any phlegm that might be waiting to drip out before responding as Dax’s expression suddenly turned surprised at what I’d just done in front of her. “A-a little stunned, honestly. All that effort, and the demon still got away with it.”

 

The lieutenant commander gave off a light smirk before helping me up into a sitting position. She then directed my attention to the area near the foot of the of the bed where Ian’s body had been propped up on a chair and was twitching every so-

 

My train of thought suddenly derailed as I registered that Ian’s body was showing signs of  _ life _ . It was at that moment Yohko and Iroh both walked into the Irishman’s room from the opposing doors connecting to the hallway and bathroom respectively. As the two of them registered that I was up, both the aged firebender and devil hunter started smothering laughter at my rather gobsmacked look.

 

The retired general was first to regain his composure after a few moments. “I’m glad you were able to regain consciousness when you did, my friend. Any longer and we felt it would be best to proceed without you.”

 

That phrasing helped me throw off my mental bluescreen. “Um, ok… Glad to hear it, man. W-what exactly were you all waiting for?”

 

Instead of answering, Iroh simply directed the young Mano woman to go ahead with what she was about to do. That turned out to be Yohko simply walking up to where Ian was propped up and, with a wink in my direction, lightly tapping an elaborate strip of paper onto the Irishman’s forehead. An instant later, sparks of energy began dancing across Ian’s body making him grimace in pain. Suddenly the possessed Irishman’s eyes opened as he jerked to a standing position while giving off a literal roar of agony. The four of us watched on as after a few moments of the demon futilely tearing at the ofuda and thrashing about in place, a midnight black mist ejected from my friend's body and evaporated into nothingness. With nothing to continue the struggle, my friend simply collapsed to his knees in a slump.   

 

Slowly, the Irishman began to stir, raising a hand to the bridge of his nose and pinching it to help stave off a rather nasty headache. He started to speak, but it came out raspy and weak before he coughed loudly to clear his throat before trying again. “...Jon...if you  _ ever _ shoot me with that thing again I’m gonna punch you in the dick so hard you’ll be peeing blood for weeks.”

 

Yes, he could have said anything other than a threat to my urinary tract, but I honestly didn’t care as I fumbled my forward and tackled him in a bear hug with new tears in my eyes. After a few seconds the Irishman started lightly patting me on the back. “Jon, you done yet?”

 

I shook my head, still holding on. I admit at the time I was worried that I might be dreaming and keeping a grip on Ian was helping fade that fear. Unfortunately, that meant that things quickly began to feel awkward for the Irishman and he started lightly pushing at me, hoping I’d get the message. “Aaaaanytime you’re ready, Jon. Just eh, starting to feel a bit trapped...again… and unable to move freely…  _ again _ .”

 

Ok, thinking back on this I should’ve probably wised up and let go of him since that should’ve been enough to assuage any lingering fears at that point. Problem was I was kinda stuck in la-la  land giddy over the facts that I didn’t kill my friend and I did save his life. Even then, I don’t blame him for what occurred next.

 

Growling out my name, Ian roughly shoved me away from him… and a force other than his arms aided in prying me off, flinging me into the far wall of his room. I impacted the wall, thankfully impacting only drywall as my body punched through before I fell out of the hole landing on the bed. As quick as could be I propped myself up on my arms staring straight at Ian with wide eyes. Everyone else was too, just as dumbstruck over how I could be flung several feet by a normal human being.

 

And given the way Ian was now looking at his arms, the concept and how it didn’t seem to fit with how things should be had registered with him as well. He then turned to the nearby chair and thrust out his hand palm open. Whatever was now within him responded once more, knocking the furniture into the shelving along the window side of the room. An outright  _ feral _ grin spread over my friend’s face as he began experimenting with his newfound ability. First by pulling and pushing random objects about his room, then by picking small things up and letting them orbit his body while giggling madly. Thankfully, this display of power was prevented from escalating further when the Irishman actually used a burst of his ability to cause Yohko’s skirt to flip upward as if a swift wind erupted underneath her.

The young Mano woman shrieked and took a few moments to try keeping her panties out of sight before she gained a furious look on her face, stomped up to Ian and clocked him upside the head. With his concentration disrupted, everything that had been affected by his telekinesis dropped to the floor. Rubbing his head where she hit him, Ian grinned roguishly at Yohko. “You could do so much better than plain white. Ever think of wearing a thong?”

 

The devil hunter’s face blanked for an instant before flushing deep red with anger. She raised her hand high as if to hit him again, before her features suddenly calmed to normal. She pivoted on her heel to face my direction before climbing onto Ian’s bed and draped herself over my back with her arms loosely around my neck. “That’s something  _ Jon’s _ more likely to find out about instead of you.” She then nuzzled the back of my head with her cheek, making several giddy thoughts flutter about in my stomach as I gave off an embarrassed chuckle at my reversal of feminine fortune.

 

Iroh clapped his hands twice, snapping all of us out of our little reverie. “While this is a rather entertaining diversion, should we not be asking ourselves why Mr. Gram is now capable of such unusual feats?”

 

Dax took out her tricorder and walked up to Ian, taking several scans of his head and body. “...mmm… I’d have to use a medical tricorder to get the whole set of changes, but I’m detecting brainwave activity far higher than what should be seen in your average humanoid. The neurological mass is also somewhat denser than before.” Dax crossed her arms in front of herself for a moment before speaking again. “It could be a side effect of the combination of both the stun blast and Iroh’s lightning hitting Ian’s nervous system. It’s possible that when that happened the overload of energy… supercharged him for lack of a better word. I just really wish Julian were here right now, he could make more sense of these readings than me.”

 

I blinked in confusion with Yohko still leaning on my back. “So basically, since I zapped Gram in the head by mistake, he’s got Force powers now? And is this a permanent thing?”

 

The Trill scientist gave a shrug of her shoulders. “I’m not a medical doctor, Jonathan, I honestly have no idea what’s going to happen with this.”

 

The Irishman had gotten bored with the conversation and levitated a thick ceramic cup from the eastern-style tea set he owned and proceeded to entertain himself by using the cup to lazily trace figure eights in the air in front of him. Dax gave off a slight frown at that. ”Ian, I don’t think you should be using these powers of yours so frivolously. For all we know, this could be a side effect of brain damage from what happened to you earlier.”

 

The cup halted its journey for an instant as Gram now had a frown to match Jadzia’s. A breath of time later it began moving through the air again, only it’s path had grown considerably more complex. After a minute or so of mutual silence I decided to speak up. “Ian, I think it’d be a good idea to quit playing with your new toy for a bit. We still need to figure out what to do next since it seems like all hell’s breaking loose around us. Demons popping up outta nowhere isn’t  _ natural _ for our world.”

 

The empowered Irishman smirked as the cup started moving faster along it’s unseen path. “If more of ‘em come our way, I’ll use this trick of mine to stuff those demons back into their hole.”

 

Suddenly Iroh reached out and plucked the cup from its midair journey. “Perhaps, young man, but in the meantime it seems rude to play with such abilities while we’re in the middle of a discussion like this.”   

 

My friend’s expression remained neutral though his body language started growing tense. “I’m listening already, what’s the plan?”

 

With that statement, three sets of eyes zeroed in on me as did the fourth once he realized who the rest were looking at. The aged firebender spoke up.“Well, Jonathan?  _ What is _ our plan, now?”

 

Now normally I like being the center of attention, but given what was hinging on the attention I opted for being nervous instead. “Why ask me? I mean, yea, my idea worked. Why does that mean I’m the leader now?”

 

Iroh smiled at me. “It isn’t just the fact your strategy proved successful, but also that with Mr. Gram gaining these new abilities after his ordeal you still seem to recognize them for what they are. Thus, you remain the most logical choice to synchronize all our talents together. Do you disagree?”

 

I felt Yohko adjust her positioning on my upper back as I leaned backward slightly with a thoughtful expression on my face. “Well, no. I suppose I don’t, man… Lemme think.”   

 

I closed my eyes to help me focus, and a moment later I continued speaking. ”I guess we need to try going after any other demons nearby. The one that infested Ian said ‘We are the first, and certainly not the last’. That sounds like baddies are all over the place right now. The five of us might be the only ones that can do anything about it.”

 

Ian suddenly kneeled in front of me moving into my field of vision, locking eyes with my own. “I for one will  _ not _ run from this. Do any of you have an idea what it feels like to be possessed?! It’s like an out-of-control roller coaster, you can see what’s coming and you wanna stop it but you  _ can’t _ . I just saw my own hands gutting grown men, tearing through their flesh.” He then stood up and turned away from me. “We’re fighting, Jon. We’re fighting and we’re  _ killing _ them because I… because  _ we _ must. And because I frankly wouldn’t wish that on anyone else.”

 

_ Then I suggest you all step to it, then. _

 

The five of us suddenly jerked at the voice that spoke up seconds before Q of all beings appeared in a flash before us. He was leaning against the door to Gram’s closet with his arms crossed in front of himself, still wearing his own take on a Starfleet uniform,  _ still _ with that damnable haughty look on his face. “Frankly I’m impressed with you, Jonathan. You  _ actually _ managed to pull off that hairbrained scheme of yours.”

 

I only could look at the godling for a second before I felt a growl rumble in my chest and my blood start to boil. I slipped out of Yohko’s grip and flung myself at the member of the Continuum with my right fist swinging for his noggin. Only the little bastard flashed away from where he had been meaning my fist slammed into the wall. I winced as I pulled my hand back and started shaking it about, popping the knuckles to help reduce the twinging pain.

 

Q reappeared standing right next to me. “Now now, violence isn’t the answer…”

 

I gave off a little quiver in anger before speaking very calmly. “You’re right, Q. Violence isn’t the answer. It’s the _question_.” I suddenly bared my teeth in a snarl as I turned around to face Q again. “And for what you did the answer is ‘ _FUCK_ **_YES_** ’!!”

 

Ian moved at the same time I did, actually showing he might have more than just Force Push to play with as energy began collecting in his hand. For my part, I had my fist chambered and swung just as I finished getting Q in my sights.

 

That’s when the omnipotent annoyance reminded all of us of the fact he was hit by Sisko that one time because he  _ allowed it to happen _ . Q lazily caught my fist and proceeded to  _ squeeze _ it like it was in a vice, bringing me to my knees in screaming pain. At the same time my friend had his legs pulled out from under him, actually getting him to flip completely over landing roughly on his stomach. Whatever attack the empowered Irishman had been charging up suddenly fizzled as Ian had the wind knocked out of him. “First, don’t blame me for the demons running around the place, it’s that interesting ring of Yohko’s that guided them here.”

 

The devil hunter gave off a shocked gasp upon hearing that, which in turn helped me get angry enough to ignore the pain from my hand for an instant. “How _dare_ **_you_** blame _her_ f- _gahahaaa_!!”

 

Q tightened his grip keeping me on my knees before speaking up again. “Second, while a part of me would enjoy watching the both of you rail against omnipotence for as long as you are willing to try we frankly don’t have time to waste like that.”

 

Before anyone could say anything the godling snapped his fingers warping the lot of us out of there. The next thing any of us knew, we appeared high in the sky, held up by invisible forces out of our control. Q then  _ finally _ let go of my hand and allowed all of us to look around. Didn’t take long for us to figure out that we were a few thousand feet above the Trinity River with the inner city of Dallas a relatively short distance away. Right before our eyes, a deep blood red light began emanating from somewhere in the city center. Just as quick as it appeared it began to fade, and an inhuman roar suddenly echoed in our ears.

 

I felt an arctic chill go down my spine. “Q, what the hell was  _ that _ ?”

 

The omnipotent annoyance frowned before answering. “ _ That _ would be one of the first successes of the demon spirits in bringing their larger fellows to this world. They’ve infested several hundred of you lower life forms and began performing summoning rituals to call their brethren here. Unless something is done, these demons will use your quaint little section of the universe as a foothold for their conquest.”

 

As we continued to look on, one of the smaller buildings suddenly imploded while air raid sirens began to blare. The attack had begun. Dax began comforting Yohko as she became hysterical while Iroh merely looked at the growing carnage with a pinched look on his face. That left Ian and myself who both turned back to the godling that continued holding a similar frown to us our way. “Well then, do you still wish to attack me? Or do you  _ now _ understand that you all have much  _ bigger _ fish to fry?”

* * *

 Chapter End.


	3. Crisis in Town

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bringing your work home with you is never good, but if your job is Devil Hunter, then it goes from bad to Hella worse! Is our world even capable of surviving the fallout??

It didn't take much time after Q brought us back for the five us to pile into my car and take off for Dallas proper. Iroh and Dax had both put on what they had been wearing when they arrived while Yohko transformed into her devil hunting dress. Ian had thrown on his khaki pants and Sith Code hoodie to keep warm while I remained in my jeans and sweater from earlier. The freeway looked like a scene out of Independence Day as the traffic was deadlocked going away from Dallas, but heading towards the city the road was absolutely clear. With no other disruptions, the five of us reached the West End in record time, meaning I quickly found myself unable to think of anything beyond the devastation all around us. 

 

Part of I-35 had been severed with several vehicles hanging precariously from the spots they managed to stop upon. The building the Spaghetti Warehouse had been in had its upper floors collapsed atop the rest of itself along with several other buildings in the West End. From there, whatever these bastard demons summoned started to push its way across town to the east. A chill December wind began blowing, further adding to the rather creepy atmosphere. We began to follow the trail, noticing other clues as we went. The further into the city we walked, since Iroh believed the sound of the car might attract things that we were better off  _ not _ making the acquaintance of, the more sticky clumps of thread started to appear. Almost like webbing, believe it or not, which Ian couldn’t help but comment on. "Well, Jon, I can only  _ hope _ this is webbing. If it's spooge we're so  _ fucked _ ..."

 

Amazingly, despite everything happening, my wit was still open for business. “In which case, Ian, be glad it isn’t a  _ roach. _ ” I smirked as the Irishman gave off a quick shudder. Ian had been absolutely disgusted by roaches since he was little, and as his good and trusted friends, we had done our part by needling him about it every chance we got. Unfortunately a few seconds later, I was reminded in another way that things had changed. An invisible force actually gripped my  _ boxers _ and yanked upwards, giving me a monster wedgie that lifted me off the ground for an instant or so. I spun back around, taking the opportunity to also stuff the band of my boxers back beneath my jeans. I locked eyes on the most obvious suspect, and sure enough, Ian’s right hand was still raised up in a fist while a smirk held on his face. “How now, Jon?” 

 

I grumbled out what part of the buttocks he reminded me most of while turning back around to follow the sticky trail with the others close behind. Soon large circular cocoons began to appear, some slightly quivering every few seconds with whatever was locked inside. Others were empty, with blood spatters and various bits of gore coating the ground around them. A rather grisly thought popped into my head right then and flew right out my mouth a second later. "Anyone else wondering what are inside these things?" 

 

The others turned to face the cocoon I was next to, but it was Yohko who wordlessly strode up to it and cut the silken container open with her sword. An unconscious little girl was inside, wearing a torn light blue jacket and pants. Her long dark hair and deeply tanned skin identified her further as a mexican. Which raised a second point: No mexican family that I’d  _ ever seen _ would be caught dead abandoning their kid to something like this. She couldn't be more than eight or nine years old, where'd her folks get off to? 

 

My answer arrived in the form of light skittering sounds heading our way, and a head poking around the corner of a nearby building. I called out to whoever it was, but he or she suddenly ducked back behind the wall which in turn made me tell the others to watch the kid while I dashed after the mystery person. 

 

But seconds before I would've turned the corner, the mystery lunged for me with a blaring cry! I jerked backwards swearing aloud, only to have a blade of gleaming silver fly from my peripheral vision to the right of me. The blade and devil hunter that wielded it stabbed deep into the blood red compound eyes inside the creature's head, doing a neat job of skewering it. The body fell to the street with a muted thump while the mandibles on it’s head clacked in vain trying to get a bite of my friend holding it back with her blade while the legs flailed about randomly. It jerked and spasmed for a few moments more, then went still. I was still trying to get the shaking to stop in my limbs, so Ian took the initiative to give whatever jumped me a closer look. A few seconds later the Irishman spoke up. "Jon, I think we've got a real problem here." 

 

I raised an eyebrow at that. “You mean aside from the fact we're in the middle of a damn demonic invasion?” I stood and walked to where the corpse now lay and got a good look at it. It easily reminded us of a black hairless spider, scaled to great  size that is. Feeling inspired from the adrenaline rushing through me I gave the oversized pest a solid kick, causing it to roll onto it’s back and the limbs to curl up. “Jon, I know everything’s bigger in Texas, but I think this’s one thing I’d rather keep at normal size..”

 

“I heard that…” I flinched suddenly as a thought came to me. "Dude, do you get the horrific feeling that we’re in the arachnid version of a pantry?" 

 

As if to answer my question  _ all around us  _ more skittering sounds reached our ears. Dax grabbed up the girl in her arms and we all hauled ass away from the ‘nursery area’. 

 

After running full tilt for a few minutes our group ducked inside a gift store that had been left open in all the chaos. A few moments passed, and then all five of us slumped to the floor with a great sigh. 

 

"Sonuva _ bitch _ you'd think with all the hours I put into playing Skyrim I'd realize giant cocoons all over the place were a  _ bad thing _ !!" I shouted out once I had regained my breath. "This is nuts, plain and simple!"

 

The irishman sat up from his position after laughing at my comments. “The cocoons in Skyrim held spider eggs, Jon,  _ that _ made them useful. Whatever those were back there,  _ not  _ useful.” 

 

Iroh and Jadzia both gave a small chuckle at that before Yohko suddenly stood up and began walking quickly towards the entranceway. I asked where she was heading off to but the Devil Hunter gave no answer as she shoved her way through the door and continued down a side street in the direction we had been travelling. Dax got up to follow after her, but I waved at her to sit back down. "I'll do it. I've got a pretty good feeling what's got her riled up anyway." 

 

That said, I stood and followed after the Mano woman, breaking into a light jog as she came into view. She’d been going in a more or less straight line after she left our hiding spot for which I was grateful. I called out her name, but Yohko kept on walking. I repeated it, but she began walking a bit faster. Finally, getting frustrated, I barreled forward in a full run. Getting in front of the Devil Hunter I  stopped, turned, and blocked her way with my body holding my arms outstretched. "Yohko! For God's sake, girl, where the hell are you going without the rest of us?!"

 

In response, the young woman stopped in front of me and began shouting my way in rapid fire Japanese while gesturing back towards the store we'd been hiding in.

 

I'm embarrassed to admit I just stood there for a few seconds wondering who switched the audio on me until my head rebooted properly. All five of us had been using the lieutenant commander’s combadge to communicate with each other since my guests arrived. Yohko and I must've walked out of its effective range.

 

"Time to see if these little trinkets are worth the circuit boards they're built with." I slipped a hand into my right side pocket of my jeans and pulled out a pin that had been shaped to look like a Federation combadge, minus the gold trim and black oval backing the arrow. Dax had passed one to each of us right before we had headed for the inner city, and now seemed as good a time as any to see if Trek tech could work with 20th century parts.

 

I set the badge on the right side of my chest, arrow pointing upwards. Then after tapping it twice, I tried speaking again. "Testing, one two, three. Q is an obnoxious jerk, over." 

 

I ended up hearing two kinds of sounds in response, a snort of laughter from Yohko, and light giggle coming from the badge. "Jon, this is Dax. You only need to tap the combadge  _ once _ to turn on the UT. But thanks anyway for helping me make sure the comm function works as well. Dax out..." 

 

I grinned suddenly as I realized just how amazing Starfleet tech heads could be, with a few scattered electronics that any hobbyist could get a hold of Dax had actually recreated one of the most used pieces of technology in her universe right here. Then I turned my gaze back to the Mano woman and my grin fell away at her rather cross expression. “OK, girl, what’s got you so riled up?”

 

Her brown eyes narrowed into slits. “... _ You… _ ” 

 

I blinked a bit at that answer. “Me?! What the hell did I-” 

 

“You’re  _ laughing _ at all this!! All of you actually  _ laughing _ at those people back there who've turned into lunch for those monsters! What's wrong with you?!" I opened my mouth to reply but the devil hunter forged ahead in her rant cutting me off. "None of those people can come back, Jon! And when that little girl wakes up, how are we supposed to tell her her parents are most likely spider chow?!"

 

I shut my mouth with an audible click as Yohko continued saying her piece. “How many others are dead now because of what summoned these giant spiders?” I watched on as she started shaking in place, her words coming in a stutter. “H-h-how… how m-many are… gone... b-because of  _ me _ ?” 

 

" _ WHAT?!"  _ I roared out, seething mad at the thought my friend would even  _ try  _ to take some of the blame for Q’s actions. Without thinking of how it might look to an outsider, I closed the distance between us and grabbed hold of Yohko by her shoulders. When she turned her face away from me, I actually shook her which forced her vision straight ahead into mine once again. "You. Listen. Here. Did you ask to get sent to my world by Q?" 

 

The devil hunter slowly murmured out a no, which thankfully gave me the seconds I needed to settle down into a less hostile frame of mind. I loosened my grip on Yohko’s shoulders as I continued speaking. "And did you have a flipping clue before you got here that your Yoma Ring might be capable of drawing demons to you?"

 

She answered again in the negative before continuing. "But I should've known! Those monsters could appear anywhere on my world and yet they always seem to show up in my damn hometown?!" 

 

My rebuttal was swift. "Until you had proof of them following the Mano family, and thus, their heirlooms any thought that demons just showed up where they pleased would've been the natural response!"

 

"My family moved all over Japan!" Her temper began flaring as she and I ended up almost nose - to - nose in our verbal sparring match. 

 

"But did you ever go  _ out _ of Japan? If you didn’t, it could still be seen as a coincidence by any who might’ve noticed!" I gestured with my right hand in a wide arc behind me. "I’ll admit this is a bit of guesswork on my part, but you yourself mentioned this was your first time in America and that you thought you'd left the problems of your world where you came from. Meaning! You had no clue this might happen in the least!!" 

 

"I'm still responsible for all this, Jon! I'm the devil hunter, I saw the signs, and I still! Did!  _ Nothing! _ " Her sword swung outward in a similar arc to the one made by me earlier before she thrust it into the ground right beside her. 

 

The fact she easily pierced solid concrete to reach the soil underneath didn't go unnoticed by me either. But I was going to _win_ this argument, dammit! “You wanna punish someone for not having foresight? Fine! Start with **_Me_** , the guy who knew about _you_ , and the _ring_ , and the transdimensional asshat demon lord Tokima that _started_ this whole one hundred eighth generation long square dance before you even _consider_ anything you might’ve known or not known about!!” 

 

Yohko’s reply died in her throat as her eyes grew wide. Unfortunately, I was too mad to really notice as I kept ranting. “I should've said no, when Q offered me a wish in exchange for keeping you guys out of trouble for seven days… but  _ no _ ,  **I** had to be greedy. Couldn't let go of my dad, so I'm easy pickings for the first Puck in a Starfleet uniform that decides to pop on in.” 

 

I did a slow half spin in place as I took in the devastation all around us. “Now, instead of just sucking it up and dealing with it I've probably doomed the whole damn world, if not just the city.” 

 

“Such burdens you have. Please allow me to lighten them for you.” I started turning in Yohko’s direction to thank her for the offer only to find her staring upwards with a growing look of panic on her face. ‘ _ Wait a minute, when did Yohko gain a high class accent?’  _

 

My eyes jerked skyward and I had my answer- At  _ least  _ a dozen of those butt-ugly giant spiders were along the walls of the buildings surrounding the devil hunter and I. And to make this budding nightmare even worse, there was a young looking female in an elaborate dark mini dress riding one of them like a horse. Her exposed face carried the elongated ears, long bright white hair and coal-black skin of a drow, which made the sight even less appealing to the fantasy nut in me. 

 

“Huh… At least we know what got summoned by those possessed people now....” That was all I managed to say before the mob of monsters lunged toward the two of us.

* * *

 

 

It’s jarring when someone gives you a good slap to wake you up, but at the same time you can’t deny how effective it can be for kicking your brain back into gear. That’s what I realized after I got a nice pair of stinging smacks across my face, and that drow from before was what I next laid eyes on. 

 

She was pretty, that fact sure wasn’t in doubt. Her outfit hugged her body and had a long diamond cut in the front, showing off her impressive cleavage and trim stomach, with a silvery web mesh covering the opening. It reached to about mid-thigh, and the off-black material was mixed with argent spider web patterns all throughout. A sterling necklace was wound about her neck with Lolth’s symbol dangling from it. That wholly evil snake headed whip was tied off at her side and hissing slightly while gazing about. She used that thing to great effect earlier, I was still feeling the sting in my side and shoulder. Her bone white hair reached well to her calves and was held in a single thick braid. Her boots were of smooth black leather that reached up to her lower thighs, where more web patterns crisscrossed around the cuff at the top. My eyes followed the braid back to it’s source, allowing me to notice the gleaming tiara, silver yet again, with a large smooth ruby set within. But when my eyes drifted down to her own I learned two things. One, they matched the crimson of the stone in her tiara, and Two, apparently she didn’t like guys staring her in the face cause in that instant her arm whipped out to slap me again. My head jerked to the side with the blow, but I couldn't really say it hurt all that much.

 

“I do not recall giving you permission to gaze upon me, human...” Her voice was velvet, smooth sounding to the ears. A small smirk found its way to her lips. “But I suppose you may take the vision of my beauty along as a remembrance on your journey to the afterlife.” 

 

So she didn't want me looking at her but actually didn't mind the attention? Beautiful, I'm dealing with a fantasy realm feminist…

 

Since I was already looking in the general direction I glanced around at the situation the devil hunter and myself found ourselves in. Both of us were webbed up against a solid wall by our arms and legs spread eagle style in some random tunnel or hallway. It looked like her minions were sealing off every nook and cranny with more webs, turning it into a lair of some kind. A couple of overhead lights were completely shattered, but a pair of trash cans had had their contents set ablaze helping the both us to see well enough. Near Yohko and I on the opposing wall was what looked to be a makeshift altar, with a stylised symbol of a spider painted on the bricks above it. I'm reeeally hoping it was dark red because that was the only paint color that elf could find on such short notice. 

 

It was then that Yohko began to stir, slowly at first, then much faster after the slap-happy elf gave her one across the cheek. After that, my friend glanced all around with growing dread before noticing me and our ‘host’. “Just what are you?! Why did you do this to all these people?!” 

 

In a split second, the elf had whipped each of her arms faster than I could follow, and in the next possible instant a pair of knives had impaled the devil hunter in the upper chest right to where the shoulder joint would be found, drawing blood. Smiling at the shrieks that her attack invoked, the white haired wench continued speaking. “Why does a wolf butcher a sheep? Because it  _ can _ .” 

 

Yohko could only grimace and squirm in place like a specimen on the dissection table as the elf continued talking. “It’s so sad that I didn’t think to carry my good tools with me today, I shall only be able to make this last half as long now, even with two new toys.” 

 

I felt rage blossom inside my chest from hearing that. “TOYS?! We’re human beings, dammit!”

 

For her part, the drow simply folded her arms under her sizable chest and looked back at me with a half-lidded expression before giving of a melancholy sigh.“Yes, I know… Your kind doesn’t last nearly as long as an orc or dwarf even if I was twice as rough on one of them, it’s rather disappointing in all honesty.” 

 

I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. She was having fun tearing us apart piece by piece,  _ fun! _ My body began shivering in place, not from the cold outside, but from the storm of emotions building within me. I raised my head to lock eyes with the drow once more, and I just  _ stared. _ But instead of the reaction I was wanting from our captor, she started focusing on me a bit more before a gleeful smile spread over her face. I blinked twice at that as she strode up to me and gently wiped something away from my- 

 

That was when I felt the other one slide down my right cheek.  _ Tears.  _ Oh, goddammit I was actually losing my self control  _ that much _ ?! With a practiced gesture she licked the moistened digit clean of salt water, before shivering in delight. “Ahh,  _ delicious. _ Like the sweetest wine from home…” 

 

My eyes turned away. My cheeks felt hot and all I wanted to do was disappear, just so I could escape that damn haughty expression of hers. My self-recrimination ended quite abruptly when Yohko began screaming once more. My head jerked her way just in time to see that damned elf pull the rest of one of her knives out of the body of my friend. The blade was long and wavy, with one edge cut in smooth fangs all the way to the hilt. The hilt itself was made of an off white material, like ivory, with the pommel shaped into a dragon’s head. 

 

With it removed from her body, Yohko’s blood began pouring freely from the wound until the drow spoke in some odd, harsh sounding language and ran her fingertips along the torn flesh. Just like that, the muscle and skin reknit itself shut so well that the only clue to the devil hunter being injured was the tear in her dress. Our ‘host’ then removed the second knife, an exact twin of the first, and did the same with the other injury. Yohko hung limply in her bonds, completely exhausted from what she just endured. Still didn’t stop her from tensing up like a rabbit the moment the elf drew near again. “B-back! Stay  _ back _ !!”  

 

The white haired wench glided up towards my friend until they were almost nose-to-nose. She then gently cupped Yohko’s chin in her hand. “ _ Shh _ , child. Your turn is over for now…” As the drow trailed off a whimsical smirk formed on her face. “However, I think I should make sure no fragments from your pretty dress end up in your flesh after it’s healed. Mother did impress upon me the importance of keeping wounds tidy.” 

 

Both the devil hunter and myself were confused at that statement at first until the elf lifted one of her knives to the hem of Yohko’s dress and started cutting. With a few swift, clean strokes my friend lost her uniform and panties leaving her in only her bracers, ankle bands and slippers. As the drow stepped back to contemplate the view the devil hunter tried to put on a brave face despite the embarrassed flush over her face. “Happy now?! Or are you  _ s-still _ shocked I can look better than you wearing absolutely nothing at all?!” 

 

That got a real belly laugh out of the elf. “An excellent front, child. Though I doubt even a man from your race could speak well of your attributes given... my-” 

 

Doubtless the drow would’ve kept up her preening had she not turned my way and noticed where my eyes were focused on. Or rather  _ whom _ they were focused on. In my defense, I was  _ trying _ to make sure that Yohko’s body hadn’t been hurt again by the damn elf’s knifeplay. Problem was, that meant from the drow’s position in front of us that it seemed I had eyes for the devil hunter and her alone. So I guess it made sense to her to stab me right between the legs at that particular moment. 

 

Yes, you heard that correctly. Between. The. Legs. Also known as Ballbusting for Professionals, In-Home Castration, and/or Sack Removal. 

 

I won’t even  _ try  _ to go into what that felt like, mostly because I can’t recall those few moments with any accuracy. Also because I passed out from the shock of what I was feeling. I asked Yohko afterwards where in the jewels I was hit, but all she could do was wince and simply point out that I  _ really  _ didn’t want to know. I think the fact that  _ she  _ was having sympathetic pain over a nut strike was enough to get my curiosity to shut up. I’m unsure for how long I was out cold, but suddenly a warmth like nothing else I’d ever before encountered filled my being.  _ This part  _ I can recall vividly, not just because I’m shortcutting several dozen sutures and at least 3 months of sitting gingerly while I recovered, but also because  **Magic.** Actual magic, right in front of me that helped me recover completely… and that seemed to have the odd side effect of raising me to full mast, so to speak. 

 

I couldn’t believe how mortified I felt at that particular moment. Okay, on one hand, sensitive erogenous area overstimulated by both pain and pleasurable stimuli leading to a mental misfire. On the other, **_Really Bad Timing!!_** Yohko noticed me tent my jeans as well since her vision had been focused there from the light of the healing spell earlier. I know _that_ since our eyes rose to meet each other at the exact same moment, which then led to the both of us flushing deeply over the boundaries that had just been vaulted over. At that point, I simply shifted my gaze to meet the drow bitch’s head on and just kept staring, _retribution be damned_. 

 

Imagine my surprise when instead of anger, a look of excitement started to form on her face. “Since you seem intent on letting your eyes go where they shouldn’t, boy, I feel the best way to end our little session together is to show you something quite…  _ stimulating…  _ for both of us.” Before I could even wonder at what she might be talking about, her right hand reached up to unbutton the clasp holding her dress collar shut. Then, with an almost mechanical pace she disrobed leaving her in her boots, tiara and necklace before letting the garment fall from her grip onto the ground. 

 

I blinked twice before commenting. “Um… Stupid Question, but have you  _ ever _ stripped for a guy’s pleasure before?”

 

For the first time during this whole ordeal, I think I actually caught the white haired wench flat footed as her haughty expression vanished and a puzzled frown took it’s place. Her eyes narrowed a second later. “Are you still suggesting that this little  _ tramp  _ next to you can be more enticing than  _ I _ ?” 

 

Part of me wondered where I ‘first’ suggested such a thing, but I continued my argument. “It’s not what you have that counts, it’s how you use it…” Suddenly a thought struck me, and I allowed a small smirk to hit my lips. “Then again, I suppose if you never really _needed_ to pursue a man’s attention It’d be difficult for you to learn how to act really sexy when you want to be…” Time to make the pitch, C’mon Jon don’t fuck this up! “Now _Yohko_ _here_ , she’s had a real hard time trying to get guys to notice her in the past, and as a result she could show you moves that would bring dead men back to life.”

 

The elf then giggled at my words which made her free swinging breasts quiver in rather distracting ways. ”And I, full of wonder and mystery, obviously should just release the wench from her bonds so that she may dance for us… correct?” She sneered. “You must think me a fool. Why would I, a chosen of Lolth who possessed enough cunning and power to replace my mother as a priestess at  _ my age _ , need to learn some strutting gestures a woman of lesser breed has to use to pitifully beg for a man’s attention?” 

 

Despite myself, I felt my face fall, only to hear the drow speak up again. “...But… I suppose even the highest Matrons found it easier to excite their men through something other than commands…” 

 

With that the white haired wench picked up her dress, walked up to Yohko and cut the devil hunter free before tossing the black gown right on top of her head. “Remember girl, I shall be watching with  _ some  _ interest, so do try to impress me.” 

 

Yohko gave off a bit of a dumbfounded look as the elf leaned back against the brick wall beside me with her arms crossed under her bosom and a light smirk on her face. I, for my part, just kept hanging where I was, but did offer my friend a little support. “C’mon girl, show ‘er how you conjure up a sword from a guy’s pants with those moves of yours.”

 

The devil hunter’s face brightened before turning downright  _ sultry _ at me. “Well, if you insist, Jon… I suppose I can give you both something to remember.”    

 

I actually blushed hard at that, either she’s an actress waiting to be discovered or I may have struck the Eros motherload. Slowly Yohko picked up the dress and pressed it to her body, her eyes locked with mine the entire time. My friend then fully opened the gap into a complete circle of cloth before shimmying her legs, butt, abs, and breasts into the garment one tantalising inch at a time. Best part was when Yohko gave a half-turn and broke rhythm at her buns, letting her hands and the fabric frame that derriere just so for a few moments before moving on. 

 

And of course the damn drow  _ has  _ to interrupt while the show’s going on. “I suppose she does have a sort of simplistic charm to her movements. But it seems painfully obvious of which areas of her body she would wish you to notice.” 

 

My eyes turned to the white haired wench only to notice that she’d developed an odd twitch. “It's called ‘playing to the crowd’. Most guys… and not a few girls, apparently… find a firm butt to be a rather interesting sight.”

 

The drow gave off a lascivious grin. ”No doubt. But is it truly a ‘crowd’ when there are but three around to witness the display?” 

 

I blinked twice at that. “ _ Three _ ? Where’d ya get that number from?”

 

The elf giggled at that before she moved in front of me and leaned in close while bracing herself on the wall with her left hand. “Why from  _ you _ …” She pressed her bosom against my upper chest in a not - uncomfortable way while giving me a half-lidded stare. “ _ Me… _ ” Suddenly the elf’s free hand reached for the crotch of my jeans and  _ squeezed _ . “And  _ him. _ ” 

 

I somehow managed to avoid screaming out in pain this time around, though a cough that was an octave higher than it should have been squeaked out. “W-well they say ‘Three’s a Crowd’, don’t they?” 

 

The drow’s grin became more intense, just as Yohko completed another half turn so that she was facing her impromptu audience once more. The outfit was now just underneath her breasts, but the devil hunter’s expression had shifted from sultry to cold neutral. In a smooth, swift motion my friend had slipped the dress the rest of the way onto her body and summoned her weapon into her hands. Oddly enough, the moment the clasp at the collar was secure the garment shifted and shrunk in all the right ways to fit perfectly on my friend’s frame. 

 

In the next instant, Yohko lunged for the drow just as she turned her head in the direction of the sudden flash of light provided by the Soul Sword’s arrival. That slight warning proved to be all the drow needed as she leaned away from the weapon reaching for her and gracefully leapt out of the way. I'm just glad the devil hunter adjusted her thrust in time or her sword would've done far worse than imbed itself in the brick wall a scant few inches away from my head. 

 

“Well well, so that sword of hers can be summoned? And here I thought it was just a decorated blade.“ The devil hunter gave off a light smirk as she made ready to charge once more.

 

Suddenly, the dress Yohko wore began to tighten even further, strangling her throat and compressing her chest. My friend dropped her blade and brought both hands to her neck, trying desperately to loosen the collar in any way possible. I cried out to the devil hunter as she fell to her knees before whipping my head to the white haired wench with renewed anger. “Shut it off!  **_Now!_ ** ”

 

The elf only smirked in response. “You see, the enchantment that allows that gown to refit itself every time it’s worn has a secondary use for the odd raider that might try to claim those garments should I or any of my ancestors be defeated. If the wearer is not Drow, a few moments after the neck clasp is secured the garment forcefully tightens till the victim asphyxiates. Something which should occur in-” The drow raised her head in a thoughtful gesture before holding up her free hand, palm facing away, with all five fingers extended. “-five minutes, I believe. Humans tire so easily…”

 

The white haired wench slinked up close and lifted the knife that she had kept a hold on throughout the whole ordeal thus far. “Hopefully you’ll be able to last long enough to carry me the rest of the way. Who knows? Impress me, and I may just keep you alive afterwards.” 

 

The look in her eyes and erect mounds were starting to tell me the whole story. And it wasn’t one I wanted to star in. She stalked forward, one painfully slow step at a time, savoring the moment. “Now for my favorite part of the game: ‘Taming the Snake’!” 

 

Just then, as if by the magic of movie timing, flames erupted along the left side of the enclosed area. The spiders nearby squealed and hissed in panic, scattering every which way. Beams of blood red laser light cut through the only wall not on fire carving out an opening to the outside. Out of the haze from the burning silk came two people. The first made its way to where Yohko was still trying to loosen the dress enough to get some much needed air. She pulled out something which fired the laser beams from before at the dress, which plus the sudden fires from earlier helped me figure out that the rest of the team had arrived. The Trill made slow, deliberate movements as the material resisted being cut, but immediately Yohko’s breathing became easier as parts of the garment split away. 

 

That meant Ian had to be the one that faced off against the drow bitch, making a grasping motion with his hand. The priestess clutched at her throat just before her body was jerked up into the air. The elf squirmed about for an instant or two, clawing at her throat as her red eyes began bulging in their sockets. Strangled gasps were all she could emit from her tortured airway, the lack of air adding a level of desperation to her movements. In her panic, she clutched at her tiara and focused her head upon her opponent. Only a sudden whisper of something from deep within the irishman was enough to get him to dodge to the side just as a blazing beam of light erupted from the gem shattering the brick wall, partially collapsing that section of the tunnel. The white haired wench dropped to the floor before quickly regaining her senses. Her eyes glowed a furious red as she took multiple shots at the neophyte psychic then turning to Jadzia and Yohko and charging up another volley. 

 

Suddenly a jagged bolt of lightning raced across the battlefield tagging the elf square in the chest. Not a few seconds later the aged firebender leapt onto the scene, amazed at the sight which greeted him. I was rather ‘shocked’ at the result myself. Hehe.

 

The damn drow was getting up. A full 1.21 gigawatt punch to the sternum and the bitch  _ simply shrugged it off _ . 

 

A tableau of invincibility that was thankfully broken a few seconds later by the pendant she wore loudly splitting in half and disintegrating before everyone’s eyes. The drow was furious, giving off a high pitched shriek while glaring at Iroh with her flaring red eyes. “You wretched  _ vermin _ ! That talisman took  _ months _ of uninterrupted prayers to the Spider Queen to enchant properly! I shall slice off whatever sort of withered twig and stones you have and sacrifice them to Lolth alongside your dessicated husk!!” 

 

I’d seen angry chicks before, but the damn drow took it to another level entirely. Before, with how her hair framed her ears and face, even I could admit she had beauty and then some. Now her rage had furrowed her brow severely, creased her cheeks from the fanged grimace she sported, and brightened the glow of her eyes to something painful to stare at for too long.

 

But Iroh was unflappable in the face of such fury. “My destruction of your trinket was never my intention, miss.” He matched her glare with a solid one of his own. “I’m afraid I was more inclined to strike you down for your kidnapping two of my comrades.” 

 

The white haired wench lunged for Iroh with a roar, hands outstretched, which the aged firebender was about to sidestep easily until the drow suddenly became a blur as she reached him. The priestess zipped to where her belt and weapons had lain and scooped up the lot of ‘em seconds before a long fuzzy looking tendril whipped out and tagged Iroh on the shoulder, left side and left leg. He fell down writhing from the venom in the enchanted heads and I couldn’t tell from my position if they were fatal wounds or not. I prayed for the old man’s health either way. Please be ok, Iroh...

 

Ian screamed out in pain suddenly making me jerk my head in his direction. One of the damn drow’s daggers was now embedded in the irishman’s side while the other suddenly impacted to the left side of my face. Rather disturbing on it’s own, it was made even more so when the blur I’d associated with the drow actually zipped by to take the dagger back, and I felt an oddly tender kiss tag me on the lips. I think I actually shivered,  _ ugh _ ...

 

Deep cracks echoed in the small chamber in the next instant as sections of the walls and ceiling started flinging themselves at the priestess, doing more damage to the surroundings than to her as she zigged and zagged around every shot. Pity  _ some of us  _ weren’t able to dodge like that, as I ended up pointing out to the neophyte psychic after a bit of rubble zipped by my restrained form. “IAN, you psychopath! Quit trying to swat that elven mosquito with the goddamn proverbial hand grenades! Some of us aren’t in a position to get out of your way!!”

 

Ian gave me a deadpan look before hoisting a fragment of brick wall in front of him with his energies and casually flicked the edges. Chunks the size of quarters flew off of the edge of the debris and neatly sliced into the web bonds that had held me up all throughout the fight. I dropped to the floor in a heap and tried to quickly stand, only for my limbs lack of circulation to come to light, which made me drop to the floor again. “...beautiful ...next I’ll be turned into her damn human shield just for kicks…” 

 

Much to my shock and growing horror the elven blur halted its randomly fast dodging of the irishman’s projectiles and doubled back towards my still prone form. “...Oh  _ fuck me sideways _ , why did I open my damn mouth?!” 

 

I frantically tried to get up, but my arms and legs were far too sluggish to help me stand in time to meet the oncoming drow. Thankfully, just as she reached me more chipped bits of stone finally met their mark, making her she screech in pain from the attack. The fuzzy image bounced twice away to get some distance just as the effect flickered and died. The priestess was far worse for wear, her breaths haggard and forced while holding her snake headed whip in one hand and one of her daggers in the other. Some of her long white hair had escaped it’s braid while sweat and blood dripped off of her body. The latter being from multiple small holes in her arms, legs, and torso. On the other side of the battlefield, Ian gave off a sadistic little grin before floating another chunk of debris in the air and used his powers to crunch it into multiple smaller pieces that began to orbit his body. Concrete buckshot… now  _ that’s  _ stopping power! 

 

But even though she was winded, she was still several levels of pissed above normal. “You worthless pile of excrement!! My spiders will feast long on your filthy blood!” 

 

She gestured towards the vacant opening in the webbing to her right, only to quickly notice that nothing would answer her calls. She exclaimed her growing denial, right as Iroh managed to lift himself off of the floor onto one knee. “If you are hoping to receive aid from your arachnid friends, I am afraid I took the opportunity to deal with them earlier before coming here to do battle with you… Now would be an excellent time to surrender, young lady.”

 

All the priestess could do was flash her glowing red eyes at the aged firebender before tossing her dagger at his head. Iroh simply caught the flying bit of steel with his index and middle fingers while giving a firm stare the elf’s way. That, plus the sight of Yohko finally being cut free of the cursed dress, ended up being all the damn drow could take as her resolved buckled. She dashed through the nearby opening with Ian close behind. 

 

My legs had  _ finally  _ stopped feeling numb allowing me to get back on my feet, though my mood and self-esteem were still buried in the floor. I’m the guy everyone agreed to follow, and all I could do was hang on the wall like a damn piece of meat while everyone else fought and were in danger. Like a damn ingenue, honestly.  

 

I made my way over to Iroh who was slowly coming off of the venom from the snake headed whip. He still groaned as I helped him to his feet, but the retired general quickly waved off any further concern from me. “I will have time to rest later. First we must regroup with Mr. Gram and help him to finish this situation with that… woman.” 

 

I nodded, trying to hide my grimace at the fact the aged firebender was in pain. “I hear you, man. But maybe you should sit this one out anyway. That snake whip venom is nasty.”

 

“But not long-lasting. Already I feel the pains beginning to ebb. Though I am elderly, my time isn’t finished just yet.” I gave a slight grin that response just as Yohko called out to the both of us from where she was sitting on the floor. The devil hunter had draped the now inert magical fabric over her front to keep her girls covered, and asked if I would get the remnant of her uniform from where it had fallen. I gave her a puzzled look, but shrugged and complied with her request. 

The dress hadn’t been cut to pieces so all I did was ball it up in my hands and carried it over to where Yohko and Dax now were. I handed the devil hunter the lump of silk and watched on as she held it close to her chest and began chanting with eyes closed. “ _By my Oath as a Devil Hunter_ , _against all enemies that come after me_ , _for all daughters that come after me_ , _I claim this magic and power for my clan._ ” 

 

On and on she chanted that phrase with the odd echo pattern, and I watched in awe as the remnants of her uniform began leeching into the dress she had been trapped in. After a few minutes more, the two dresses merged into one leaving Yohko with eyes closed and hands pressed against the chest of her new red garment. The slim diamond cut in the front remained from before, but with the web mesh removed. The Mano family yin-yang symbol now decorated the back of the dress now that it’s original position had been taken by something else. The spider web patterns throughout the former garment had been rewoven into sparkling pale gold kanji script all along the borders of the dress. The neck clasp was now a carved ivory button in the shape of the Mano yin-yang. 

 

Now that she had solved her clothing problem, I started to turn away so I could follow after Ian and the damn drow to finish things. However Yohko stopped me in my tracks by reaching out to grab hold of my left hand. I turned back, only to notice she was giving me a _way_ too sweet smile. “Jon, we need to have a little talk about that stunt you made me go through with just now now that there’s an opportunity... “ 

 

I didn’t need the Force to guess where  _ this _ was headed. I briefly looked to Iroh and Dax for aid only to notice that the both of them gave me the same eyebrow raised smirk. I grimaced, counted to ten in my head, then turned to my friend to face the music. “Look Yohko, I’m sorry, honestly. At first when the whole damn drow’s lack of skill first came up, I was trying to stall so I could think of something without being in pain from whatever she did to us next. After that, well…”

 

The devil hunter’s smile flipped to a frown as she further scrutinized me. ”After that, you assumed that I would do whatever stupid thing you came up with next without even  _ asking me _ ?” 

 

Iroh finally thought to give me a hand with the conversation. “Sometimes a plan cannot be confirmed in the fraction of time before it is needed.”

I gave a dip of my head in acknowledgement to the retired general’s point before continuing. “Honestly though, I was expecting you to badmouth the idea and bicker with me in general. That you ran with it, and did it  _ well _ , was as much a shock to me as it was the elf back there.” 

 

My eyes began to wander up and down the devil hunter’s new look. “Speaking of shocks, how the frak did you do that thing with the dress, Yohko?”

 

My friend gave a little grin. “My great ancestor came up with a way to make magical items demons had in their possession usable by a member of the Mano clan or their allies after we defeated them. It even changes the item’s form if necessary, so that we devil hunters are as protected as we can possibly be.” She then took the dagger from Iroh that he had caught like a boss and proceeded to convert it for her own use. The wavy blade straightened into a single edge tanto blade with kanji etched along the length. The ivory dragon hilt shifted into twin carved Yoma faces with emerald eyes, one face to a side on the hilt. 

 

I nodded in admiration, clearly the Mano family was far more than their oddball reputation would have you believe. “Color me impressed, Yohko. The look is out of sight, but what about it’s function? What do your new odds ’n ends  _ do _ ?”

 

Yohko blinked a couple of times before grinning sheepishly. “Um...I dunno?”

 

My right hand clapped against my head in frustration while everyone else chuckled at the situation. “Thankfully that drow person left your Combadges intact and we were able to follow the signal straight to the both of you.” Dax then got her tricorder back out and started scanning Yohko’s new uniform. “Unbelievable. I saw her reconstitute those two dresses into one single garment but I can only scan one type of material throughout the whole thing… maybe it’s some type of complete molecular fusion?” 

 

I rolled my eyes and stood up, before moving towards the opening the priestess and Ian had passed through earlier. “You can try to figure out how magic works some other time, Dax. We need to get after Ian just in case that white haired wench has a surprise or two left in store. Let's move!” 

 

The three of them nodded in agreement and soon the four of us were jogging down the passageway after the neophyte psychic and his opponent. A few moments later we heard the sounds of high pitched fighting coming from around a bend in the tunnel. On the other side, the irishman and priestess were still slugging it out with whip and dagger against thrown rubble and energy barriers. 

 

I was going to insist that we wait for an opportunity, but Yohko’s instincts were faster than my voice just then. In one smooth motion, she whipped her arm around and her new blade flew straight and true, tagging the white haired wench’s whip right in it’s writhing living head. An instant later, the kanji symbols on the knife began to glow brightly, making the whip shrivel and dry out as it’s magic faded. 

 

The elf started shrieking at the loss of her favorite tool, but that quickly turned into a gurgling gasp as the neophyte psychic got his ‘grip’ around the priestess’ throat. Then without saying a word Ian  _ pressed her. _ I really wish there was a better word to describe what I saw occur to this elf that doesn’t emphasize the fact he turned her from three-dimensional woman into an almost two dimensional pulpy disk. 

 

No, I’m not gonna describe it any better than that,  _ trust me _ , you don’t wanna know. 

 

Ian held his hand out for a few seconds more, before letting himself relax. At the same instant, the mess of flattened meat that had been someone dropped to the floor with a sickening splat. “Yohko, you might want to dig any of her things you can out of that pile, everything she had is enchanted in some way.” 

 

The devil hunter shivered at what she just witnessed, unable to speak. She wasn’t alone. After a few moments, the aged firebender finally managed to get his thoughts together enough to say something. “Young man… while I am fully willing to accept that this being’s death was a likely necessity this… this savagery  _ certainly _ cannot be justified.”  

 

“Iroh, that shit might work for most people-” The irishman strode up to the group with a slight wobble in his step.“-but drow  _ cannot  _ be shown mercy at all. You find them, you  _ end _ them. Besides, this one was a real piece of work.”

 

Once the Irishman had made his way towards us, I finally noticed the proof that his little escapades with fancy new powers could come at a cost. “Holy shit! Ian, you’re  _ bleeding _ man!!”

 

Ian’s nostrils were doing a fair impression of waterfalls as twin streams of crimson dribbled down his face. As I pointed it out to him, the Irishman finally seemed to notice before moving to clean his face off. “But like I was saying, drow aren’t like normal people, Iroh. From the minute they’re born, assuming they’re not male and possibly immediately sacrificed to their fucking spider goddess, Lolth, they are indoctrinated to see themselves as superior, all other races as beneath them and to backstab their fellow drow if the reward is worth it slash follows the will of the aforementioned spider bitch god.”   
  


After another instant Ian seemed to gain a sheepish look on his face. “Which now that I think about it might be why I put a bit too much ‘oomph’ in trying to squish her… Sorry ‘bout that, Yohko. The crown got crushed along with her head. Her belt and boots should be fine though.” 

 

The devil hunter cringed at the mental imagery that info provided. “NO! No way in hell am I digging through someone’s body for some damn accessories! Th-they’re probably already soaked through with her f-fluids and stuff by now anyway!!”

 

I rolled my eyes at that. “Leather doesn’t retain water when wet. Quit being a baby, Yohko, and loot the boss already. You saw how dangerous that damn drow was with just what she had on at the time. Are you  _ really  _ telling me you don't want to zip about like that?”

 

“You get the damn gear then! All of it’s covered in blood and guts and body parts!!” I just stared at my friend for a few moments before smirking and giving her a deep shrug of my shoulders. Yohko gave off a small frustrated huff before moving towards the mound of mush. “You're worse than Grandma sometimes…”

 

Iroh and Dax followed after her to help out, while Ian and I just walked further down the passage until it turned upward and opened up onto the street. Partway up I remembered something about the previous battle. “Hey Ian, weren’t you stabbed in the side earlier?” 

 

The irishman nodded. “Yea, but she yanked it out of me when I had her in the one on one fight back there. I’m pretty sure it was just a flesh wound, I even got it to seal using my powers, see?” He lifted up his hoodie, and sure enough there was a scarred over slit in his side with no blood leaking out, though more was smeared over the area. We’d need to find a doctor to be sure, but I think he’d be ok.

 

Once we exited the tunnel the both of us figured out we’d been in one of the inner city underground tunnels for foot traffic between buildings the whole time. Sirens were blaring as the soft booms of explosions echoed in the distance. I shook my head in despair. “What have I  _ done _ , man? Yea we fixed you up and stopped that white-haired wench back there… but how many other monsters are out there? How long are people gonna be killed by demons?”

 

Ian grabbed hold of my left arm and tugged me around to face him. “ _ Q _ did this, Jonathan. Not you. Don’t you  _ ever  _ take the blame for him pulling this shit.” 

 

We both kept silent for a few moments while all hell broke loose in the distance. Then, unbidden a question I’d never thought to ask before now sunk down from my brain and fell out of my mouth. “Why’d he do this, man? What does he gain by turning our world into a warzone?!”

 

_ Insight, among other things. _

 

The both of us jerked suddenly as Q materialized before our eyes leaning lightly on the brick wall with his arms crossed in front of him. “You both have seen that half-baked effort by Roddenberry to portray the Q in a legitimate fashion? If so, you should know full well mortal beings intrigue my people. For all our omnipotence and foresight, you lot still continue to do things that surprise us.” 

 

I felt my fists clench but managed to stay put. “How does  _ that _ equate to  _ this,  _ Q?”

 

The godling’s eyes rolled. “Like I said, insight. Many’s the time I have seen Jean-Luc regain control of that overworked vessel of his using only his wits and skill. But how far could it go? If the threat was great enough, could a mortal become inventive enough to overcome it? Just the  _ thought _ is immensely entertaining.” 

 

My left eye twitched. “...you want entertaining…?” I suddenly dove for Q with my right hand balled in a fist as I yelled, “Ian, fortify!” The neophyte psychic already had the gist of it as an aura of power wrapped itself around my fist before it impacted with the wall. Multiple spiderweb cracks began spreading from the impact site, as sadly, Q had teleported away just before I struck. 

 

_ That’s exactly what I’m talking about. How long did it take you to come up with that plan of attack after noticing Ian had figured out the use of telepathy? Your observational skills and inventiveness are just what I need to win this little contest! _

 

Ian turned to me with a neutral expression and a raised eyebrow. “What contest might he be talking about, Jon?” 

 

I gave my horsetail a nervous tug before speaking. “All the Q have this wacko Bet thing going, and for some reason  _ I’m  _ the guy he chose to be his wager. He’s the one that transported everyone here in the first place.”

 

The irishman’s eyes narrowed. “So  _ he’s _ the reason I had a fucking demon in my brain for a few hours today?!” 

 

_ Yes. But you mortals dealing with the fallout is part of the rules, I can’t hold your hand throughout this whole thing. Not as interesting as, say, watching simple mortals in extraordinary circumstances grow to match those challenges and survive… _

 

“Don’t suppose it would kill you to tell the rules to your current pawn, would it?” I said with a frown. “And rematerialize already, just looking up at the ceiling is creepy!”

 

_ I think not. You and your amigo here might be distracted with useless thoughts of murder if I were to discuss the rules with you face to face. _

 

The both of us fumed silently as the godling continued speaking.  _ First, during this competition the Q as a whole are unable to use their omniscience at all so that we can gauge the consequences of any ‘move’ we make for our chosen mortal or group of mortals. Second, we can make any move we wish, but we cannot undo a move once it's been put in play. Finally, the submission with the fewest moves that reaches the most interesting conclusion is considered the victor.  _

 

“Now I know what a chess match feels like for the pieces…” I grumbled as Ian could only nod in agreement. “Anything else, Q? Perhaps another hidden twist you’d like to screw us with?!”

 

Q didn’t answer me, and a few minutes later the both of us walked back to where the rest of the team had been. First thing we noticed was that Yohko had finished reinventing her look as a devil hunter. Her pumps and anklets were switched for a pair of tanned leather thigh high boots with a low heel. A thin leather belt was wound about her trim waist, possessing two small sheaths at crisscrossed angles at the back. Both daggers had now been converted and we're sitting comfortably in their new holders. 

 

Speaking for myself, all the new gear added a fine measure of new hotness to the devil hunter. “Daaamn, Yohko. You made that suit look better than ever!” 

 

Yohko smiled at the whistle I gave for emphasis and preened a bit before doing a little spin to show off her new accoutrements… which might be how she managed to surprise me with that nasty right cross of hers as it flew across my jaw. Naturally I dropped to my knees from the shock of the hit as my friend crossed her arms in a huff and turned away from me. “ _ That’s  _ for making me dig through all that crap, Jon!”

 

I gave my jaw a quick rub. It was tender, but nothing broken for the effort.  “...Admittedly, I  _ may  _ have deserved that. How do the boots feel?” 

 

Though she stayed facing away from me, I noticed her posture relax slightly. “They’re… pretty comfortable, actually. Thanks, Jon.”

 

Iroh and Dax gave a wry grin between themselves, then looked me over for any lingering damage. Ian just sat slumped against the wall and within moments was snoring lightly.

 

“To hear Yohko tell it Jon, this drow put the both of you through the wringer but I can’t detect any signs of laceration or trauma…” Dax ran scan after scan trying to figure out why our stories and the available evidence weren’t trying to get along. “I’m detecting blood on the inseam of your jeans and similar readings where Yohko said she got stabbed, but no scarring whatsoever on either of you… even the best natural healing techniques leave scarring of  _ some  _ kind...”

 

I rolled my eyes at another example of Federation Tech blindness. “That would be thanks to the drow’s healing magic. As a priestess she’d have access to some really potent stuff, most likely so that she could keep her ‘toys in fair condition’, if you get my meaning.” 

 

The lieutenant commander gave me a half-lidded smirk and grin. “Yes Jon, I’m sure that the magic kept you from getting a nasty scar.” 

 

I would’ve laid heavily into Dax on that subject given what I just went through, but the retired general beat me to the punch. “Commander, one should never rely upon the wisdom of their own land above that of any other. To do so leaves one blind in a way few can ever match. Perhaps it is indeed magic, or some other power, but you should know better than to deny the effect of something simply because it does not match your view of the world.” 

 

Dax blinked twice as she grew a sheepish look to her face. “...that’s a good point. With someone like Q hanging around it probably is best to expect the unexpected and keep an open mind about what I see during this out-of-world experience.”

 

_ Very good, Jadzia! I had a feeling you'd be up for this challenge. _

 

Iroh and Dax were startled by the sudden vocal intrusion, but I had grown used to the outbursts of the godling’s continued eavesdropping and just grimaced in response. “The hell do you want now, Q?”

 

Q answered by rematerializing in front of us with arms crossed in front of him and a grin on his face. “I think now would be an excellent opportunity to shake things up a bit.”

 

“That pretty much tops the list of things I didn’t want to hear today. I  _ quit,  _ Q, You hear me?! Find some other sucker in some other dimension ‘cause I’m not playing this damn game of yours anymore!!” I folded my arms in front of myself, looking as defiant as I could. Though given how the godling was still smirking, I don’t think it was having much of an effect. “I don’t care if this means Dad dies  _ tomorrow,  _ just take my houseguests and  **_go away_ ** .” 

 

Q just waggled a finger at me. “Tut tut tut, I’ll not have that kind of defeatist talk in my camp. You’ve been doing exceptionally well thus far, saving your friend, giving him power, your team then saving yourself and the devil hunter and giving her  _ more _ power. I'm now quite interested in seeing what a change of scenery will force you and your teammates to reach for.” The omnipotent ass then cupped his free hand under his chin, as If in thought. “You think I should ask Jean-Luc about this? He's always prattling on about ‘human spirit’ this and ‘humanity’ that, so perhaps he's learned a few ways to motivate people…” 

 

As he continued to focus on his question, I gave off an exasperated sigh, rolled my eyes again and moved to tell him off spectacularly. To this day I still don't know why I said what I said just then. “Q, I don't give a royal fuck where, just get us _ outta this _ !!” 

 

The way Q’s eyes just lit up was not a good sign, neither was the bright smile on his face. “What an excellent idea…” 

 

Before any of us could tell him otherwise, the godling snapped his fingers and the lot of us disappeared in a great flash of light.

* * *

_**To Be Continued...** _   


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In case it wasn't clear to anyone, Q's Bet IS open to everyone that needs a good ROB for their own story, Self-Insert or no. Just give a shout out to Favorite Company if you do.   
> The rules go like this:   
> 1\. Just like with Metroanime's Bet series, Each Q participating much select a timeline and make one alteration to it, usually by selecting an individual and affecting them in some way, then step back and observe the ripples that result from it. Safety of the chosen subject isn't necessary, if there is one, but note that death tends to put a period on what changes may occur and might be best avoided.   
> 2\. The object of the Bet is to see what single move might have the greatest impact upon the Lower Realms.   
> 3\. No Q may interfere with another Q's move... overtly. 
> 
> Aside from that, anything goes.


End file.
